Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
As I take uncertain steps toward him, my voice sounds almost broken. “I know I hurt you. I know I pushed you away and ran like a scared little bitch, but I was petrified,” I somehow get out. A sob is lodged in my throat, and I feel like I might explode. “You know what it’s like to watch your parents love each other. We have the perfect examples of true fucking love. But Quinn, I’m not our moms.” I can’t believe I’m saying what I am saying, but Dad told me to be vulnerable. It’s the only thing I haven’t tried, so here we go.
“My mom is a boss-ass chick and can do anything she puts her mind to. She raised a kid while being totally brokenhearted by my dad, but she did what she had to do. She is the perfect wife, his other half, and it’s sickening how I’m nothing like her. While, yes, I am strong and I’m successful, I’m not perfect.”
His eyes narrow, his chest rising and falling in quick succession. I don’t know if he feels the tether between us, but I do as I take another step to him.
“Then there is Elli, the epitome of perfection. Anyone who comes into contact with her smiles because she loves so damn hard. She raised all of you while running a hockey team, and she still has the power to make anyone smile. She cooks, she cleans, and she probably did it all with babies on her hips.” My breath is shaking as I hold his gaze, my eyes leaking tears I have no control over. “Both our moms are the epitome of wife material. Hell, even Shelli, Posey, Stella…all of them wife material. And then there is me.”
I look down, wiping my face quickly, unable to make eye contact with him. His eyes are always too knowing, but I have to be honest. I have to tell him my truth. “I’m too much. I feel too big. And I’m not wife material. I can’t cook, I’m a fucking mess, and most of the time, I don’t even know what I did an hour ago.”
I look up, his eyes intent on me as he lets me speak. He always knows when I just need to talk, to get it all out or I’ll keep it bottled up. Damn it, I love this man. “I kept you at arm’s length so you wouldn’t get tired of me. So you’d still want me in a more-than-friends way. I know we’ve always gotten along, but it was different when we became intimate. It meant having to share things with you that I sometimes don’t even like knowing about myself. It meant showing you how fucking obsessed with you I am.”
His eyes widen, a smirk pulling at his lips. “Obsessed?”
I swallow. “I know. Totally on-brand for the crazy Emery.” I look away, shaking my head, beyond overwhelmed. “I remember thinking how stupidly in love Shelli was with Aiden, and she wasn’t shy about it. But I couldn’t let anyone know I felt the same way about you. Not only would I get made fun of by our jerk-ass older siblings, but with you being so smart, your future at the tips of your fingers, I didn’t want to distract you with my childish ways. But still, when I looked at you, I wanted what our parents had. Only, I thought you deserved someone who could be to you what our moms are to our dads.”
“Shouldn’t that have been my choice?”
I look up at hearing his husky tone, his loaded question. His jaw is tight, his lips pressed together, and his pupils are blown out. His eyes are trained on me, and what a feeling it is to be under his heated gaze. “I wanted it to be,” I admit, my heart ramming into my ribs. “When you gave me your virginity, everything just happened so quickly. I fell so hard. I knew I had to be careful, because if you got too close to me and saw how obsessed I was with you, you’d be overwhelmed by me. You’d leave me.”
Something dark moves through his gaze. “But then you left me.”
It’s not a question; it’s a reminder of the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I nod slowly, my eyes clouding with tears. “I shouldn’t have, Quinn,” I tell him, my chest aching. “I went through the motions. I threw myself into work, pretty sure I created a new company just so I wouldn’t stalk you every day. I convinced myself that I could love you from afar, but it was torture.”
“It was for me too,” he admits, and then he’s moving toward me. “I watched you too, begging for a little taste of the life you didn’t want me to be a part of.”