Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 80074 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80074 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
I stood, and he instantly rolled over onto his chest. Coughing up blood.
Breathing heavily, sweating profusely. Not hesitating for one second, I spit in his face. Grabbing the collar of his shirt, I ordered, “Look at me. Look me in the fuckin’ eyes like a man.”
He did, hardly able to open them. They were already swelling shut.
Glaring deep into his gaze, I spoke the truth we both knew. “You’re a piece of shit, a fuckin’ pussy! You always thought I was the one who was going to break her heart. Except, it wasn’t me, motherfucker.” Cocking my head to the side, I roared,
“It was you.”
Chapter 28
<>Jackson<>
Now: Twenty-five-years-old
“Fuck biology, she’s mine!”
She put her hands up in a surrendering gesture. “I know. Don’t for one second think I don’t know you’re her daddy, but please try to understand where I’m comin’ from for once. Her eyes, her hair, her smile ... it’s all Cash. It’s all I see when I look at her. Him. The boy who threw us away like we were nothin’ but trash to him.
“Fuck him! He’s nothing but a goddamn pussy!”
“It doesn’t change the fact he’s Bailey’s biological father. I told you that night on the beach, I can’t lie. I couldn’t do this. It’s breakin’ me. You didn’t care, you didn’t listen. Look at us, Jackson. Just look at us. This isn’t a family. We’re miserable. It’s not healthy. We’re slowly killin’ each other, and I can’t live like this anymore. It’s only a matter of time before Bailey sees it too. It’s going to kill her when she finally learns the truth. Do you really want that for her? We’re her parents. We’re supposed to protect her, and all we’re doing is setting her up to learn her life is a lie. A life that’s not real. With two parents who love each other, when they don’t.”
I stepped back, gaining some much needed distance between us. Scoffing out, “You know when you surprised me in the delivery room with naming her Bailey, I thought Jesus, please God ... let this be the moment she realizes she still loves me.”
“Jackson...” She started crying. “I want to, but you make it so hard. I want to move forward into the future, although I can’t. I’m stuck in the past. All these lies hold me hostage there. I can’t heal, you won’t let me.”
“You’ve pushed your feelings for me aside since day fuckin’ one, Harley. At first it was always a game between us, saying I loved you, that I was your lobster all those years in the shed of the MC clubhouse. We were a game from the beginnin’. Except it changed for me early on, and you didn’t see it. You didn’t want to. You’ve never been a prize to win for me. It’s always been your game, and to have you... All I’ve been doing is playing by your rules. We both know I’m always the winner.”
She was crying so deeply.
So utterly.
Consuming me with everything inside of her.
“You know me... I’m my father’s daughter. I’m a Jameson, and nobody fucks with our family. I’m stuck between my love, my loyalty to my cousin, and where I stand with you. I’m dyin’, strugglin’ to find my identity. Who I am inside. Overnight, you betrayed me in the worst way which led me to make the worst decision of my life. But at the same time it wasn’t ’cuz it gave us Bailey. Followed by the boy who has been my best friend since the day I was born threw me, us, away like we were nothin’ to him. No one. Then you completely sideswipe me by tellin’ our families it was yours. Which led to a shotgun weddin’ I had no idea about. Not to mention, for over three and a half years you’re makin’ me think you’re runnin’ around on me, and still you expect me to let you touch me ... be with me... You’ve never even told me you love me. Come on, Jackson. For once, can you see my side?”
I narrowed my eyes at her, contemplating what she was saying.
“How do you expect me to feel like your wife when you never even asked me to marry you? The first thing you told me on the beach that night was Bailey was your chance to have a family ’cuz you wouldn’t do that to your own child. Those goddamn results are sittin’ in your nightstand like a fuckin’ bomb about to go off. How can I not feel like you just wanted her and not me? You never let me think otherwise. You want to live life together, and we don’t know when your mind might take that away from us.”
“I know, Harley. I just...” I shrugged.
What could I say to that?
“Yes, you’ve taken care of us. Yes, you were there for me. Yes, you told me how you felt a month ago, but my head is still spinnin’ from years ago, and it’s just addin’ more confusion to my already overwhelmed mind. I have all these fears, and I don’t know how to make them go away. I can’t talk to anyone about it ’cuz all we’ve done is lie to them. I feel so alone in a room filled with people, and I can’t turn to you ’cuz you don’t see me the way I need you to.”