Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 84322 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84322 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
But he watched me, too.
Our eyes stayed locked on one another, and the seconds seemed to crawl by like hours, until I was at the end of the aisle, just a few feet from him, and a lifetime of words unsaid hung between us like live wires.
The officiant asked who gave me to be wed, and Tyler’s dad kissed my cheek before handing me to Tyler. He seemed hesitant at first, but then his hand shot out from his pocket, taking mine, and he helped me step up until I was level with him at the foot of the arch.
I heard a little gasp from where Morgan stood watching, but it felt like it was miles away — like everyone was miles away. Tyler pulled his other hand free of his pocket, and then both his hands were holding both of mine in the space between us, and his eyes crawled over every inch of my hair, my face, my neck, like he was memorizing this moment to lock away forever.
I let my gaze wander over him, too — noting the way his hair was slightly sandy from his time on the beach, how he was already somehow more tan than yesterday, how his eyes, so deep and dark, held a million different emotions there across from me. He was even wearing a white button-up, the sleeves rolled to the elbow, paired with shorts the same color as the sand. He looked like he could be the groom of a beach wedding.
And for a split second that struck me like a lightning bolt, I felt like the bride.
Morgan bounced with glee to my side, already spouting off a bunch of ideas now that she’d seen the full ceremony play out, but I was still watching Tyler.
He ran his thumbs across each of my wrists, making me shiver so hard my eyes closed with the force.
Then, he squeezed each hand gently, and he let me go.
The minute we were no longer touching, I sucked in a harsh breath, turning from him immediately and crossing my arms over my chest. I smiled at Morgan, who was mid-sentence talking through a few things she noticed, and she wrapped me in a hug before dismissing us all to go get showered for dinner.
Tyler was the first one to bolt for the stairs, but when he was at the foot of them, he stopped and looked over his shoulder.
At me.
He said nothing, but his hand gripped the banister, and he took one step backward, like he was debating running to me instead of up to his room.
But in the next second, it was like I’d imagined it all. He turned and jogged up the stairs without so much as another pause.
And again, I found myself watching his back as he went.
It was too late.
Those were the words that flashed like little caution lights in my mind as I ran, my legs burning, chest aching, breath coming shorter and shallower with every new step.
It was too late to be out for a run on the beach.
It was too late to be out and alone, period.
It was too late to be awake when I had another full day of wedding activities tomorrow.
And it was too late to ever have a relationship with Tyler Wagner.
That last point was the one that mattered most, the one that my brain focused on as I ran, sneakers kicking up sand behind me. The cool evening breeze swept across my damp chest, covering me with chills, but still, I ran.
It was the only thing I could do after an evening like the one I’d had — packed with emotion and longing and conflict. The war raging on inside my mind, inside my body, inside my soul was invisible to anyone but me.
And maybe Tyler, but he couldn’t save me.
No one could.
I’d woken with the determination to stay far away from Tyler, to let him go, to let the past go. And instead, I’d been forced to walk down the aisle to him, to pretend to be his bride, to let him take my hands in his and stare into my eyes and not say a single word but say everything I’d ever wanted to hear, too.
It was impossible in that moment to not picture it, to not wonder what it could have been like, what we could have been like.
And it knifed me open, right down the middle, spilling my guts with irreparable damage.
I sucked in a harsh breath, running faster, as if that would help me. But as soon as I took three more steps, my mind was wandering again — this time, to the rehearsal dinner, where I’d sat at the restaurant with Morgan and her family, and I’d been a slave to the fantasy of what it would be like to really be a part of it.