Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 84322 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84322 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
She turned to Morgan then, and they smiled lovingly at each other before all eyes were on me.
Shit.
I forced the best smile I could muster, “It’s so nice to meet you, too. I…”
Slept with your boyfriend last night? Have been in love with him since I was fourteen? Was just thinking about how and when he would break up with you?
“I can’t wait to get to know you better,” I landed on, my stomach cramping with the lie.
Azra beamed, and then Amanda was asking her about her latest modeling gig, and Oliver was excusing himself to go take her bags upstairs for her. I expected Tyler to offer to help, but he was too busy staring at me.
I glanced at him before clearing my throat and grabbing a muffin off the counter and a bottle of water from the fridge.
“I’m going to go get showered and cleaned up and I’ll be back down,” I said, mostly to Morgan, who nodded and smiled before jumping right back into the conversation with Azra and her mother.
Then my eyes found Tyler’s, and he said nothing, but his eyes screamed a million different things.
I didn’t know.
I meant what I said.
I’m sorry.
I could never be sure, though, if those were his thoughts — because as stoic as he was, as he always was, it was impossible to tell if he still meant every word he said upstairs, or if Azra being in the kitchen had slapped him into reality again.
The word mistake filled me like black smoke, and I tore my eyes from his, running up the stairs before the first tear could fall.
The door to my room flew open moments after I slammed it shut.
“Jasmine, please,” Tyler said, desperation in his voice as he glanced down the hallway before quietly closing my door behind him. His eyes were wide and filled with pity when they found me again. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”
He’d lowered his voice to a whisper, and that alone told me everything I needed to know.
He was trying to be sneaky.
He was trying to hide what was being said.
To hide me.
To hide us.
I covered my mouth with one hand, shaking my head as I turned toward the balcony and away from where he stood.
“Don’t be sorry,” I finally said, forcing a breath and sniffing against the urge to cry. “I mean, what did we really expect?”
I turned to him then, and maybe I expected him to answer, but he didn’t.
“We… we fucked up. We made a mistake.” That word burned both of us — I knew because I felt it like hot coals under my ribs, and I didn’t miss the way Tyler flinched when I said it.
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do,” I said, sniffing again with a certain nod. “I do. Your sister is getting married in three days. Okay? You and I are in that wedding. Your plus one is downstairs in the kitchen, and mine will be here tomorrow.”
That last part was a lie, and I knew it, but Tyler didn’t. For all he knew, everything between me and Jacob was still fine, and I was still taken just as much as he was.
I needed to hammer that home.
Because if anything was clear to me now, it was that I understood why Tyler did what he did when we were younger. I understood why he listened to his sister, why he made the difficult choice to tell me we couldn’t be together, that he was sorry, that it shouldn’t have happened.
He did it because he loved me.
He did it because he knew I wasn’t okay, not after my mom left, and he didn’t want to take advantage of me. He didn’t want to hurt me.
He made the hard decision for me, for us, because he knew it was the right thing to do.
And it was my turn to return the favor.
“Azra is…” I smiled, turning to face him. “She’s amazing. And I know she makes you happy, makes your family happy.”
“Jasmine—”
“Let me finish, okay?” I folded my arms over my chest, looking at the ocean like it’d give me the words I needed. “I love you, Tyler.”
I heard the sharp exhale leave him when I spoke those words out loud, and I winced when I turned and found his face twisted with emotion.
“I do,” I whispered, smiling a little as my eyes filled with tears. “I love you so much it kills me. But you and I… we had our chance, and we didn’t take it. For whatever reason, it was never in the cards for us to be together. Okay?”
He shook his head, taking a step toward me, but I put up one hand to stop him.
God, if he touches me, I’ll never get this out.
“You and I both know we can’t… we can’t…” I shook my head, something of a smile or a grimace warping my face. “We would break so many hearts. Jacob’s. Azra’s. Your sister’s, your parents’. For what? For our own selfish desires to feed a hunger we’ve starved for seven years?”