Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 131459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 657(@200wpm)___ 526(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 657(@200wpm)___ 526(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
Even Tom felt nauseated at the thought of it.
And he’d taken that woman to his bed.
“That isn’t right.” An understatement. “But she won’t be in my life, or any part of our family soon, Jamie. And that was a decision I made some time ago, it isn’t about what you said, so that decision isn’t on you.”
“Again, fucked up, but again, glad.”
“I appreciate you telling me. Though, I’m sorry you had to struggle with it.”
“Sometimes, life isn’t a lot of fun.”
Jamie sounded weary.
And that sound dragged on something aching in Tom.
He knew both Judge and Chloe, and Judge’s sister, Dru, were worried about Jamie. Worried he might not be moving on from losing Rosalind.
That said, the weariness Tom heard was indicative of something deeper.
He knew that because he felt the same weariness.
Straight into his bones.
His kids were grown, their life decisions out of his hands, but he still worried about them, Sasha especially. And even though he could change how he was responding to her behavior, and that might have some effect on her life, she was still an adult and entitled to make her own decisions about how she wanted to live it.
His wife was gone, for a different reason than how Jamie lost his, but he was alone.
And, likely the same as Jamie, he was uncomfortable connecting in any meaningful way again.
Jamie’s first wife, Judge’s mom, had been an addict. He’d lost her to her addiction. And many years later, both he and Judge had irrevocably lost her to it when she’d died from it.
His second wife he’d had to watch fade away.
It was understandable he’d be wary of broaching another relationship.
Tom, on the other hand, had done nothing to stop the degeneration of his marriage, and then he’d struck the fatal blow. He’d loved Genny. They’d had a good marriage and a beautiful family.
Corey’s words floated up in his memory.
The last conversation he’d had with the man before he’d died.
You need to fight for her.
Tom hadn’t fought for her.
He hadn’t fought for any of it.
He’d worked and fought for every title he won, for his medical degree, to stay integrally involved in tennis. And he’d exceeded in his success in all of these arenas.
But he hadn’t fought for what was most important in his life.
That aching thing inside him began to feel more painful.
Because Tom had been good to have the kind of relationship he had with Paloma. Only feeling relief that he knew his decision to end things was the right one.
Giving that space in his head, he noted it was almost inhumanly detached.
However, that wasn’t him.
Just like cheating on his wife hadn’t been him.
But he’d done it.
He wanted Mika.
He was looking forward to finding out if she could cook. He wanted to get to know her daughter better. He wanted to see the rest of her house. He wanted to watch another movie with her, and more beyond that. He wanted to talk books with her. He wanted to go to art museums and listen to her take on what he was experiencing. He wanted to tell her how much her poems moved him, how deeply he felt her films.
He wanted her in his bed.
And he had no business wanting any of that.
But until right then, that was where his mind was heading.
First, end things with Paloma.
Then, begin things with Mika.
He had zero emotional attachment to a woman he was fucking.
This right after emotionally devasting the woman he loved.
And using a vulnerable woman to do it.
“Tom?” Jamie called.
“Yes,” Tom answered, now not mildly nauseated.
He was sick to his stomach.
“You all right?”
“Yes,” Tom lied.
“I have time.”
“Sorry?”
“If something is on your mind, I have time to talk,” Jamie offered.
“I’m good,” Tom lied again. “I’m still at the office. Need to deal with some things and then get that file to you.”
“Right. Dru and I are headed out your way soon. Something about fittings or tastings or I don’t know what’s new with all of that. Dru stays on top of it. I just say yes.”
“If you get invited to a tasting, and I don’t, prepare to say yes to taking on paying for my half of this circus because I’ll withhold in protest.”
He heard Jamie laugh.
Then he said, “We’ll talk soon.”
“We will. Thanks, Jamie.”
“No worries, Tom.”
They rang off.
And Tom focused.
He wrote his patient’s notes.
He dealt with emails.
He discussed what he needed to discuss with the assistant he shared with one of the other part-timers in their six-doctor practice.
He went home, dealt with the cats, and scanned all the documents in the envelope Mika had received, and not only encrypted them before he set up a cloud drive he shared with Jamie, but password protected them.
Only then did he text Mika to give her the timings of the first two feedings.
Given the fact they were dealing with a teenager, he wasn’t surprised when she selected the one o’clock feeding time.