Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 76759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
“Don’t you understand?” she says. “It didn’t matter to me, Jesse.”
I stare at her. Her beauty, her fire, her wild Colorado cowgirl nature. Of course I didn’t ask. I never thought…
“You’ve been in relationships before, Brianna. I know you have. Maddie has mentioned it.”
Her eyebrows jerk upward. “Maddie mentions my relationships to you?”
“She’s my sister. We talk.”
“Yes, but she’s ten years younger than you are, like I am. When she talks about her friends, I can’t imagine you would remember anything she says.”
A chill hits my heart.
My God, she’s right.
“If that’s the case, how many relationships have Angie, Sage, and Gina been in?”
I can’t answer.
I can’t answer because I don’t know.
I’ve never kept those three in my memory.
Only Brianna.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Is it possible I’ve let her inside me in some way?
“My point is that you’ve had relationships before. With men who were invested, who probably were in love with you, or if not, at least cared a lot about you. You could have given your virginity to any one of them if you wanted to be rid of it.”
“I wasn’t ready.” She frowns. “That’s a lie. I’ve been ready for a long time, Jesse. I just wanted it to be you.”
My cock reacts to her words, to her presence, to everything about her.
All this time…have I been pining after Brianna Steel? The thought sounds ridiculous, but my body is certainly responding to it.
“You got your wish.” I turn back toward the house. “We should get back inside.”
“Jesse…”
“For the love of God, what?”
Chapter Thirty-One
Brianna
So many things I want to say to him.
How much my dreams of him have meant to me over the last couple of years. How much his music means to me. How much I love watching him perform, how he moves with the music. How he’s the melody in my mind.
How much that one night meant to me. And how I don’t want to have sex with anyone else ever again.
How I didn’t mean to manipulate him—because I truly didn’t.
I just wanted him so badly. I wanted to be free of my virginity, and I wanted him to take it.
Because I…
I’ve always thought I was in love with him.
But do I really know him? Only as Maddie’s brother. As a rock star. Although I can’t really say he’s a star. At least not yet.
As a rocker, then.
As a rocker who makes my heart sing every time his voice weaves its magic.
His voice is deep, with a subtle rasp to it. The perfect rock voice.
He stands before me, his perfectly sculpted jawline tense, black stubble gracing it. I miss his long hair, but he looks even more handsome with it shorter.
“Why did you cut your hair?”
He tilts his head. “That’s what you want to ask me?”
“Yes. I loved your long hair. I like long hair on a guy, but so few guys can pull it off. My brother can. And you can.”
“It’s a pain in the ass to take care of.” He looks at my hair, raises his hand, his fingers twitching. Does he want to touch my hair?
“Wouldn’t you agree with that?” he continues. “Yours is longer than mine ever was.”
“Yeah. But I like it.”
“I liked it too.” He breaks his gaze away from me, dropping his hand back to his side. “But I need this tour to be perfect, Brianna. I need to be focused. I want to get rid of anything that takes time away from my music.”
“Your hair took time away from your music?”
“I don’t expect you to understand.”
I take another step toward him. “Help me understand.”
“Help you understand why I cut my hair? No. My hair is no one’s business but my own.”
He’s right. I’m just stalling. Talking about his hair is stupid. Even I can see that. “You’re right.”
“Exactly. In fact, everything about me is no one’s business but my own.” He shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Certainly not yours.”
This time he turns, and as much as I want to, I do not ask him to wait.
I sniffle back some tears, and then I take a walk around the grounds. Ennis’s place is beautiful and very quaint. Not as beautiful as our ranch, of course, but I can see why he wanted to come back here and live out his senior years in his home country.
The lawn is more like a lush emerald-green carpet, and it’s expansive, stretching out across the estate, offering a sense of spaciousness. The edges of the lawn are sharply defined, forming a clear boundary between the grass and the surrounding flower beds, pathways, and hedges. The flower displays are splashes of color, with roses, hydrangeas, and lavender.
Deciduous trees provide shade in the summer, no doubt. Now their limbs are bare, though no snow is on the ground. It’s an oddly mild winter in London, and though I’m chilly in only my T-shirt, I have no desire to go back into the house yet.