Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 67432 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 337(@200wpm)___ 270(@250wpm)___ 225(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 67432 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 337(@200wpm)___ 270(@250wpm)___ 225(@300wpm)
“You were dripping wet. I could tell something was wrong right off the bat.” Colton’s eyes drilled through mine. “I had no idea that’s what happened, though…”
“I was pissed. Furious. But I didn’t know at who. I didn’t realize I was just pissed off at myself. So I dug my heels in and ended it with you in the quickest and nastiest way I could think of. I said some fucked-up shit to you that night, and nothing I say now can erase those words, but Colt, you have to believe me when I say I regret them with every single fucking cell in my body.” I grabbed both his hands in mine. Tears were sliding down my cheek. I couldn’t stop them, didn’t try. My lip trembled as the welled-up emotion pushed through my throat, blocking me from speaking for a second.
I swallowed, cleared my throat. Colton’s blue eyes were like calm pools of ocean water, calming me down. There were tears collecting at the corners of those blue pools.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I should have never said I’d never you love, that I’d never be with you. It was a lie. I was scared. I was lost. I was hurt and acting out of pure fear. I’m so sorry, Colt. So fucking sorry.”
The tears were coming down harder, my cheeks wet and my heart hammering. I rubbed at my face with my knuckles, my hand shaking. I didn’t know what would come from this confession, but I knew I couldn’t stop it. The train had derailed, and it was barreling off the tracks.
“I loved you, Colton. I still do. I’ve always loved you. You make me happy in ways I’ve never been able to find again ever since I pushed you away. Being around you in simple silence can be the highlight of my day, and that doesn’t happen with anyone else. You’re my one, Colton. I pushed you away because I was in denial, because the men around me were the most toxic kind, and all I wanted was their approval.
“But not anymore. I don’t give a fuck about those backwards-ass cavemen. I’m an out and proud gay man, and I’m staring into the eyes of the man of my dreams.”
Colton blinked through the shock.
“Eric, that night… it was really rough for me. I—I was head over heels for you, man. And you crushed me. I was in a really bad mental state after that.”
Colton’s words felt like a visceral stab through the chest. I could almost pinpoint the exact muscles and cartilage that were torn apart. I never wanted to hurt him, never. In my fucked-up mental state, I had justified it as giving Colton his freedom back. He deserved to be with someone who wasn’t ashamed of holding his hand. He deserved the world, and I had felt like a piece of dog shit stuck to someone’s sneaker.
“I’m so sorry,” I repeated, finding it hard to even speak. I’d only felt this kind of constricting emotion once before—at my mother’s funeral. Never since, not until now. “I should have leaned into you instead of away from you. I see that now, and I hate that young Eric couldn’t see that then. I pushed you away, thinking that was the answer, but the answer was staring me in the face the entire time. I don’t want to make that same mistake again, Colt. I don’t want to ever let you go.
“Please, let’s stop with this fake charade between us. Let’s go back to how we used to be, but better. I want to be with you, Colton. I want you to be my real boyfriend.”
His big lips curled into a smile. His hands found mine, his body moving closer to mine. I could feel his breath tickling my chin as he looked into my eyes, inches separating us, starlight bathing us. I was scared I had gone too far, opened up too much. I was scared I would push him away again, but this time for a different reason.
His smile made all those fears disappear. Vanished, like the weight I had strapped to my shoulders. Colton pushed in for a kiss, his smile transferring to my lips, our tongues dancing and our bodies melting together.
It was the perfect moment. It would have stayed perfect, too, if it weren’t for the ear-splitting screech that made us both turn around toward the villa.
“Someone help!”
“That’s Jen.” Without even looking at me, Colton started to run to the villa with me close behind.
24
ERIC RUIZ
We didn’t waste a second. Colton recognized his sister’s terrified screech; it was clear she needed help. We had no idea from what, but that didn’t slow us down. It only did the opposite, making us run faster through the yard, dashing around the pool and launching through the doors leading into the kitchen. Colton’s dad was running down the hall, Archie close behind him.