Total pages in book: 136
Estimated words: 131789 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 527(@250wpm)___ 439(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131789 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 527(@250wpm)___ 439(@300wpm)
I bite the inside of my cheek. “Maybe this is the wrong call, Fenn. It feels pretty shitty to lie to him.”
Especially after I made a whole thing about honesty after finding out he’d been spying on me. Okay, the two aren’t nearly the same thing, but it’s still hypocrisy any way you slice it. RJ made me a promise to be more open. To be vulnerable and let me know him. And since he showed up outside my window that night, he’s kept that promise. For the first time, I’m starting to let myself trust someone. It’s a dick move to start our second chance off with another major omission.
On the other hand, RJ made it clear he’s not interested in hearing about other guys I’ve been with. If Fenn weren’t his stepbrother, there’d be no reason to even mention it. After all, it happened months before Fenn and RJ had ever met. A bizarre twist of fate later, and suddenly a split-second decision made with too much to drink becomes a potentially devastating secret.
“We can’t tell him,” Fenn says, a frustrated note entering his voice. “Think about it. If you were him, would you really want to know if the girl you’re seeing slept with your brother? That’s heavy shit, Sloane.”
He makes it sound worse than it is. It’s not like I was fucking Fenn in the bridal suite while RJ stood at the altar with our families nervously looking at the empty church aisle.
“I don’t know.” Misery jams in my throat. “If he finds out now from you or me, it’s no big deal. But if he hears it from someone else later, then it looks like there was something to hide.”
“Who would he hear it from? We’re the only ones who know. The only ones who were in my bed that night.”
I nod slowly. Gabe had been away that weekend. And if someone did see me sneaking out of the dorm in the wee hours of the morning, they haven’t come forward.
Besides, Fenn’s already lied to RJ. Going behind his back to tell RJ would only drive a wedge between the two of them. Sure, I’d get to give myself points for honesty, but I’d be pitting them against each other for the sake of my conscience. Maybe Fenn and I aren’t great friends these days, but he doesn’t deserve that, either.
“Maybe you’re right,” I say. “It’s not worth the potential fallout over something so silly.”
He nods, visibly relieved. “I don’t think Casey should find out, either.”
I briefly close my eyes. I never told my sister about the hookup. It happened before winter break of junior year, months before the prom and the accident and Casey’s subsequent closeness to Fenn. And it’s not that I was trying to keep it from her on purpose. I’d just felt stupid and…embarrassed, I guess. Casey always used to tease me about my Duke hookups—my “fuckboy weakness,” she’d called it. And then I turned around and fell into bed with yet another guy brandishing that reputation. I suppose a part of me didn’t want her judging me.
If I’d told her back then, she wouldn’t have cared.
If I tell her now…she’d care.
Fenn passes me the flask again. I drain what’s left of it, ignoring the queasy feeling churning in my stomach.
“Okay,” I agree, while an unhappy voice in my head insists we’re making the wrong decision.
“Nobody finds out,” he says, his face grim.
We both jump when we hear footsteps rustling on the path.
Half a second later, RJ emerges into the clearing, a dark scowl twisting his lips. “Great,” he says sarcastically. “Now that that’s settled.”
Chapter 46
RJ
In middle school, I knew this Navy brat named Sully. He’d lived in six countries on three continents and crossed the contiguous forty-eight states by car before his thirteenth birthday. He said he liked having to move every couple years. As soon as he started to get sick of a place, they were packing up again. Sully told me the main thing he’d learned was that in any language, people are reliably self-interested. Set your watch by it.
Not sure when I forgot this.
I shake my head in disgust as I look from Sloane to Fenn. They’d been so engrossed in their discussion about how to best betray me that they hadn’t even heard my footsteps on the path. Hadn’t realized I’d heard nearly their entire conversation until I was standing five feet from their fucking faces.
Speaking of faces, theirs are the same shade of pale. Fenn’s lips are pressed in a tight line, shame and remorse swimming in his eyes. Yeah. Sure. Now he decides to feel bad. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact Fenn’s known all this time that he lied to my face. Apparently I didn’t give the guy nearly enough credit for being an ice-cold bastard.