Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 94903 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94903 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
Looking for my home.
I’ve always imagined that I would live in a place full of love. My life would be bursting at the seams with people, PTA conferences, and neighbors dropping by for no reason. It would be somewhere I didn’t wake up and feel like an impostor living in someone else’s life.
There wouldn’t be a fear that it all might end abruptly—that the rug might be pulled out from under me when I least expect it. Like every time one of my mom’s marriages ended. And when things at school seemed to be settling down, I thought I was making friends, only to wake up to our front yard with a million forks stuck in the ground. Or when we moved to Dallas, I left behind everything I’d ever known.
When I lost my job.
I pick up my phone and call my mom. She answers on the third ring.
“Hey, honey. How are you? Is everything okay?” she asks.
“Hi, Mom. I’m good. Everyone is gone, and it’s nice and quiet, so I thought I would check in.” And I needed to hear your voice.
“Well, I don’t have a lot to report. The pain in my leg is getting better, thank goodness. I’ve watched every movie on the Hallmark Channel. I’m tired of ordering takeout, and I think I’ve gained twenty pounds just sitting here.”
I smile. “You’re tired of takeout?”
She laughs, and the sound soothes my soul.
“How are you liking Peachwood Falls?” she asks.
“Oh, it’s … fine.”
She hums. “How is Chase? Are you two getting along?”
“Yeah. We’re getting along swimmingly.”
“Okay, that sounds suspicious.”
I take a sip of my coffee. “I don’t know what to tell you. We’re managing just fine.”
“That’s good. Maggie called last night and said they’re having a ball at Kate’s. Apparently, Kate’s roommate moved out, so they’ve been patching, painting, and getting ready in case someone else moves in. You know how much they love a project.”
“I didn’t know they were project people, but I can see that.”
“Maggie bought the house they live in now because it needed so much work,” Mom says, chuckling. “Lonnie wanted another place closer to town, but Maggie was desperate to get her hands dirty in that old farmhouse. She thinks you can’t make a house a home without putting in elbow grease. I don’t know that I agree.”
I mosey down the hallway, past the stairs, and into the living room. The wind picks up outside, and sheets of rain pour past the windows. I pick up a blanket off the couch and put it over the back where it belongs.
“I can see what she’s saying,” I say.
“You can?”
Shrugging, I sit on the ottoman—and grin. “Yeah. Think about it. Think about my apartment in LA. It was a box that I came to after work. I slept there. Ate there. But it was essentially the same box someone else occupied before I arrived. It wasn’t mine. It never felt like mine.”
She hums in agreement.
I take a deep breath. “Iyala called and offered me my job back.”
My statement is met with silence.
“I told them I wasn’t sure,” I say. “They asked me to email them my response, but I haven’t.”
“Oh.”
“They called on Friday.”
“And it’s Wednesday, and you’re just telling me?”
I stand, prickled by her defensiveness.
“Are you going to go?” she asks.
Sighing, I close my eyes. “I don’t know, Mom. I don’t know what to do.”
“Do you want to go back to California?”
“No,” I say cautiously. “I don’t. I mean, it’s a job, and I need a job. I can’t live with you forever.”
“Well, you could.”
Her response makes me grin. “I know I could, but I can’t. I don’t want to.”
“I’ll try not to take offense to that.” She laughs. “I understand what you’re saying, and you’re right. You shouldn’t want to live with your mom.”
My hand slides along the mantel over the fireplace as I view the framed pictures on the ledge. All the Marshalls are present, and most are with Kennedy. But my favorite one of all is Chase with his brothers.
I pick up the silver frame and inspect it closer.
Gavin and Luke flank Chase. A taller, darker, tattooed version of them stands on the other side of Gavin. Someone must have told a joke seconds before the picture was snapped because all four are laughing. Gavin points at Luke, Luke’s head is thrown back, and his eyes are squeezed shut. Mallet is smirking as if he’s fighting his amusement. And Chase? He’s smiling from ear to ear, displaying a pure happiness I’ve rarely seen since I met him.
And I love it. I love that look on his handsome face.
I set the picture down.
“Mom?”
“What, honey?”
“Is Dallas your home?”
“Well, I live here.”
I perch on the arm of the sofa. “But living there doesn’t mean it’s your home. Do you know what I mean?”
She hesitates, pulling in a breath as she considers my question.