Total pages in book: 23
Estimated words: 21255 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 106(@200wpm)___ 85(@250wpm)___ 71(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 21255 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 106(@200wpm)___ 85(@250wpm)___ 71(@300wpm)
Whistling, I approach the station. But when I haul open the door, a shush descends. Heads turn and my co-workers’ gazes are measured as they look at me cautiously. Meanwhile, Jethro comes over, his expression serious.
“Yo,” I growl. “What’s up?”
My friend clears his throat and claps a hand on my back before walking me over to the corner.
“Hey, Randy,” he says in an even tone. “The calendars are out.”
I nod slowly.
“Yeah? That’s great because I’m Mr. January again this year, right? I can’t wait to see them.”
Jethro nods slowly.
“Yeah, you’re Mr. January, bud. But you know that this year, the station decided to release playing cards as well, right? They’re like baseball cards, except featuring firemen and not MLB sluggers.”
I nod, still puzzled. I don’t understand why everyone, including Jethro, looks so damn tense, but I try my best to just go along with it.
“Yeah sure, the cards sound like a great idea. But what’s with the long face? Is everything alright?”
Jethro glances behind him and some of our co-workers are speaking in hushed voices while staring at us. Jethro lets out a quiet sigh as he pulls a stack of cards out from his pocket. He rifles through them for a few moments before handing me one of them, and then the shit hits the fan. WTF?
My eyes go so wide that I can swear that they nearly fall out of the sockets once I see the Mr. January baseball card because it features a photo of me naked with my cock totally visible, hard and heavy, the tip gleaming with a smear of male fluid. Holy shit!
“What the fuck?” I ask in a befuddled voice. “What the hell is this?”
Jethro rests his hands on his hips and squints at me.
“Dude, you’ve got some explaining to do. How the hell did this picture get taken in the first place? I mean, you used Isaac right?”
I stammer a little as I try to come up with the right words.
“Yeah, because we all did. During the shoot, Isaac asked if I wanted to do some nude pictures, you know, just to do something a little different. I agreed because I knew that they wouldn’t end up in the calendar. I thought it was basically nothing, and that it was just private. You can even ask Sam because she was there. We never thought these would end up in the calendar, much less in a pack of cards.”
Jethro sighs and nods, shaking his head regretfully.
“Well, obviously there’s been a mix-up because the playing cards have already been published. Basically right now, everybody and their mother are getting a look at your tool.”
Horror strikes me, making my blood run cold.
“Fuck!” I curse loudly, throwing the cards on the floor. “What the hell! You can’t tell me that all of Cedar Toms is seeing me like this right now.”
Jethro shakes his head, his expression regretful.
“Worse, my friend. These cards are already on the shelves all throughout New Jersey. It’s not just Cedar Toms citizens getting a look at your package. It’s everyone in our lovely Garden State.”
I literally let out a scream of rage then, the wounded cry ringing throughout the fire station. Jethro claps me on the back, trying to calm me down.
“Listen, try not to get worked up, okay? The station is trying their very best to do a recall. It’s just difficult because like I said, these things have already hit the shelves, so some damage has already been done. But it’s fine. This will blow over in no time.”
I merely let out another wounded howl.
“Blow over? Are you fucking kidding me? Children are likely gazing at my naked cock right now!”
Jethro nods regretfully.
“Fraid so.”
I scream again.
“FUCK! Fuck fuck fuck! What the hell? Who did this?”
My friend shakes his head.
“We don’t know right now, but trust me, officials are looking into it. We’ll get to the bottom of this, I swear.”
But it’s too late for me as I sink lifelessly onto the beaten couch in the station. After all, what kind of career do I have before me now? This isn’t a joke. In fact, it’s not funny at all. My life as I know it is over, and all because of a fun photoshoot that went off the rails.
10
Randy
A few days later.
My life is fucking over. I keen while curled up in a fetal position in my bed. The shit has hit the fan, and it’s sprayed all over the room now, including in my mouth, nose, throat and hair. There’s no way I can get clean after this.
After all, the fire station wasn’t able to recall the playing cards in any reasonable time period, so now my nude photos are permanently out there for everyone in the world to see. I haven’t seen them pop up on Ebay or Instagram or anything, but still, it’s probably only a matter of time. The digital age is nasty, and they’re going to find their way online, mark my words. It’s just a matter of time.