Total pages in book: 35
Estimated words: 33692 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 168(@200wpm)___ 135(@250wpm)___ 112(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33692 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 168(@200wpm)___ 135(@250wpm)___ 112(@300wpm)
As George and the rest of the guys finish up their drinks, they glance my way, seemingly ready to give me my nightly ration of shit. They seem to pick up on the tense energy between me and Zane because instead of busting my balls, they give me a quick, respectful wave and depart without a word. The silence between us lingers for several more minutes. But I stand there, letting him know that I’m not going anywhere and am ready to talk when he’s up for it. He drains his beer and finally raises his gaze to me.
“Another beer?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “I’m good, thanks.”
“So what’s up, kid?”
He sighs. “Given how things ended the last time we talked, I know there’s still a lot of tension and bad blood.”
“Not on my end. I get why you were pissed,” I reply. “I don’t want to rehash it all and while you know my position already, suffice it to say I get it, kid.”
“Yeah, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I’ve had a lot of time to think about the things I said and the things you said.”
“Yeah?”
He nods. “Yeah,” he says and pauses for a moment before adding, “I think I’ll take that beer now, actually.”
“You got it.”
I pour him another and watch as he takes a deep swallow, still seeming to be working up the courage. It seems to me like he’s really used the time we haven’t been speaking to reflect on himself. I see that as a good thing. Potentially. Depending on what conclusions he’s drawn. Zane’s jaw muscles flex as he clenches his jaw while gently setting his glass down.
“Believe it or not, but I really did care about Cassie,” he says.
“I don’t doubt you did.”
“But you were right about me treating her badly. I did.”
His voice is soft and carries a strong tone of contrition I didn’t expect to hear.
“At the time, I didn’t realize I was doing it, but yeah, looking back on things, I can see that I treated her like shit. I was an asshole and I feel terrible about that,” he says.
“That’s good, kid. But I think you should tell her that.”
“I will,” he replies. “But I also realized I treated you like shit too.”
“Nah. You didn’t—”
“I did. I was so cautious about things with you that I kept you out of most of the areas of my life. I see now that I kept you so far out of my life that you didn’t even know Cassie’s name, let alone know that I was with her. I see that now,” he says. “So, while it still bothers me that you’re with her, I know that you didn’t go behind my back and take her away from me. I drove her away, and it’s an unbelievable fucking coincidence, but she ended up on your doorstep. I see now that’s not your fault or her fault. It’s mine.”
“Between this and your future plans, it sounds like you’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”
“I have. And I guess I have you to thank for that,” he replies. “If you hadn’t kicked me in the ass like you did, my head may have never fallen out of it.”
We share a chuckle, and in that moment, something between us breaks loose. Like a wall that had been previously high and impenetrable has come crumbling down. It’s the first time we’ve had that sense of openness in the couple of years since Zane first appeared in my life. I don’t want to get too far out over my skis, but I think it’s a big step in our relationship. An important step.
“We all need a kick in the ass sometimes,” I tell him. “God knows I’ve needed it a time or ten in my life. Thankfully, I’ve always had somebody there to help me pull my head out. And I want you to know that I’m here for you too, kid. In whatever way you need. If you need to talk, I’m here to listen. If you need advice, I’ll do the best I can. Or if you need some distance, I get that too.”
“I think the distance you gave me was exactly what I needed,” he says. “But I think I’ve done a lot of self-reflection and maybe a little growing up in that time.”
“It seems like it to me.”
“I’m not going to say this will be easy. Seeing you with Cassie is still weird and uncomfortable. I can’t say there won’t be times when I get a little angry or resentful. It’s something I’ll work on,” he says. “But I also think if you’re willing to help me through those times, we can get through them. Together. We can build the kind of relationship I wanted with my dad when I first came looking for you. If you still want to build that relationship with me, anyway.”