Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 101254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
I wipe the thought away again.
Tessa needs my attention now. I won’t let her walk alone.
But God…I itch to touch her. Hold her hand again like I did at Dunn’s River Falls, but this time not to protect her.
Just to touch her.
I haven’t been this attracted to a woman in a long time.
Braden would probably tell me I have a savior complex. That’s not it.
I’ve never had a savior complex. Never in my life. That’s Braden, not me. He felt so much guilt about what happened to our mother that now he wants to save everyone.
That’s probably why Skye appealed to him so much. She didn’t want to be saved. She was who she was, and no one was going to change her.
Including my brother.
To see them together is like seeing two interlocking pieces of a puzzle. He with his need and drive for control, and she with the same thing, except to a different extent.
“I’m perfectly safe here.” Tessa’s voice penetrates my thoughts.
I’m tempted to tell her that she’s not. But I can’t because that would just worry her.
“I’m sure you are,” I say, “but I enjoy your company, so please let me walk with you.”
“All right.”
She begins walking then, her toes sinking into the wet sand.
They’re polished now, a light pink. So are her fingernails.
Her hand felt so perfect in mine today. I want to take her hand so badly, but any move has to be hers.
So I’m surprised as hell when she turns to me and scrapes her fingers over my jawline once more.
If I could change that day fifteen years ago, I would.
But I can’t. Tessa deserves so much better than I can offer. I can’t bring her into my own house of horrors when she can barely face her own.
I close my eyes, ease my thoughts. Focus on this night. Nothing else.
Right now, I want to enjoy the soft touch of Tessa’s fingers.
And think about how the rest of her would feel, naked, pressed against me.
I absently reach forward and glide my finger over her lower lip.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Tessa
“Your lips are so beautiful, Tessa…” Ben thumbs my lower lip, sending tingles down my spine.
Kiss me.
The words hover in my mind.
They make it from my brain, to my tongue, almost to my lips…
But I can’t say them.
I can’t bring them forth.
My body is so hot. In a different way than ever before. Does this mean these emotions I’m feeling for Ben are different? Or is it simply that I’m different from all of my experiences?
I don’t know. I may never know. Does it even matter?
Kiss me.
Kiss me.
Kiss me.
Again only in my mind.
“So fucking beautiful,” he says again. “I’d give my entire fortune to kiss your lips right now. If that were the cost, I’d gladly pay it.”
I’m not sure what to say to that, so I say nothing. My heart thumps wildly, though. The thought doesn’t frighten me. No.
It arouses me.
I want his kiss.
I want it so badly.
“But I’m not going to kiss you, Tessa. Not yet.” He caresses the side of my face with his other hand. “When I kiss you, it’s going to be a spectacular kiss. I’m talking rockets and fireworks. A fucking explosion, Tessa. The earth will move when we kiss for the first time.”
I can’t help the soft sigh that escapes my throat.
“Part of you wants it as much as I do. I know you do.”
All I can do is nod, my lips trembling.
“I see it in your eyes, in those big, beautiful brown eyes that reflect something truly remarkable back at me.”
“What’s that?” I ask, willing my voice not to shake.
“You have a depth about you,” he says. “A depth so great that I’m not sure I’ve seen anything like it.”
Depth? I’ve never thought of myself as deep. I always thought I was kind of shallow. I rejected my parents’ and grandmother’s religion for boys and parties. I was into my looks, into my body. Obsessing over those ten pounds I thought I had to lose. Wanting fun, to live life day by day.
Carpe diem was my mantra.
Let your hair down was another.
“You say more things with your eyes,” he continues, “than most people say in words. I see the pain reflected there. But I also see the pleasure. I see the good life that you’ve led. I see the memories. The memories of what life was before. They’re still in there, Tessa. We both know that. We both know you can be whatever kind of woman you want to be. You’re healing. Healing takes time. I should know.”
He should know?
What has he healed from?
But the thought flees as he continues.
“I will never ever rush you, no matter how much I want you. And I do want you, Tessa.”
His voice seems to drop an octave with those last words.
I do want you, Tessa.