Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 101254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
“Honestly, ma’am, the more you think about it, the more difficult it is,” Spencer says.
She darts him a look. “Fine. I’m done thinking.”
She steps in the tub, and a shiver racks her body.
“Do it, Tessa. Do it. You can do this.”
She breathes in deeply and then submerges herself up to her chin.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Tessa
I gasp for breath as the ice water covers my body.
“Easy,” Ben says. “Regulate everything, Tessa. You can do it.”
For some reason, it’s important to me to show him that I can do this. Still, I’m not quite sure why he wants me to. But I trust him. I trust him enough to know that he thinks this will be good for me.
I gasp in another breath.
Then I hold it, force myself to hold it and breathe out slowly.
He said it was all in the breathing. I close my eyes, concentrate on my breathing.
My fingers feel…strange. The chill increases when I wiggle them, so I hold them still.
I’m not aware of anything else in my body, other than the fact that I’m freezing. So I breathe.
In, out, in, out.
Keeping my eyes closed, my breath steady.
Surely a minute has passed.
But Spencer said he would let me know when a minute had—
“That’s one minute, ma’am. You’re doing great.”
One minute down, two to go.
And then no more thoughts.
I breathe, I breathe, I breathe…
I resist the urge to wiggle my fingers and toes, knowing now that it will increase the chill.
And I breathe, I breathe, I breathe…
In, out, in, out, eyes closed, nothing before me.
Nothing in my mind except breathing…
Breathing…
Breathing…
All thoughts, both good and bad, wiped clean away until my brain is a stark chasm of nothingness.
“And that’s three minutes,” Spencer says.
My eyes pop open, and my body pops up out of the water.
Spencer places a warm towel around my shoulders, and I hold it to me.
Warmth.
It’s grand. But it will take more than a warm towel to ease the chill.
Still…
I feel…
Invigorated, almost, but not the way the Falls invigorated me.
No, this is different. This was almost…
Relaxing.
Ben is still wrapped in his towel and sitting on an outdoor sofa. He pats the seat next to him.
I sit.
Oddly, my teeth aren’t chattering. Probably because it’s so warm here in Jamaica.
“What did you think?” Ben asks.
I shake my head at him.
I’m not ready to talk yet.
I’m not ready to talk because I don’t know how to describe what I just went through.
My mind… It was blank. All I thought about was breathing. Easing the chill.
I wait a few more moments until the warmth has eased the biting freeze.
“I think…I liked it.”
A smile spreads across his gorgeous face. “Didn’t I tell you?”
“It was… My mind was a complete blank, Ben.” A tear rolls down my cheek as a swarm of emotion surges through me. “And my God… I don’t think my mind has been a complete blank for a long time.”
He smiles and wipes the tear away with his finger. “That’s why I suggested it. It’s forced meditation, Tessa. Your friends and your therapist can tell you all day not to think about something, and it’s been my experience that only makes you think about it more.”
I can’t help a slight chuckle as I sniffle. “That is exactly how it is.”
“But when you’re in a cold plunge, all you’re thinking about is warmth. In order to get through it, you have to regulate your breathing, close your eyes, and concentrate. When you’re trying to get warm, forcing yourself to regulate your breathing, nothing else can get into your head.”
I look at him, then—really look at him. Beyond his handsome face and jovial personality. And inside of him I see something else.
He does this for a reason, too.
Perhaps everyone has demons of their own.
I smile at him. “When can I do it again?”
“Once a day is enough,” he says.
“You did it twice today.”
“I did, but only for a fraction of the time I normally do, and only to show you how to do it.”
He’s right. This isn’t something you can just subject your body to constantly. But now that I know it can keep my mind blank, I want it again. And again.
“Once you’re used to it, you can work up to five minutes. Maybe even ten. But only once a day.”
“But we leave tomorrow.”
“Tell you what.” He grabs my hand. “You and I will have a date for a cold plunge at this time tomorrow morning. Before we get on the plane. Then, when we get back to Boston, you can come to my place and do one every day if you’d like.”
“You have your own cold plunge?”
“I do. Braden lives in a penthouse, but I’m more of a suburb guy. Now, anyway. I have a house. I only recently moved there. I have my own swimming pool, my own cold plunge, and a full-time trainer who’s also a massage therapist.”