Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 101254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
And what do you know?
She was the one who snagged a sexy billionaire.
I smile at the thought.
It was ridiculous that I felt so envious of Skye’s relationship with Braden. She’s checked in with me every day since Garrett, twice a day since my father died.
All this, when she should be focusing on her upcoming wedding.
It’s four weeks from today, at a posh hotel in downtown Boston.
No expense has been spared for the future Mrs. Braden Black, of course.
I walk to the kitchen and then outside in the backyard. The skies were gray during the burial, and now it’s raining, so I’m alone, which is what I’m after.
I don’t care about the rain. It feels good—kind of reminds me of the cold plunge.
Ben and I were supposed to do another cold plunge Sunday morning last week, but of course that didn’t happen. We ended up flying home in the middle of the night.
My black dress is getting drenched, but again, I don’t care.
I relish the pelting of the drops as I look to the gray sky, trying to feel my father.
But I don’t feel Da.
I feel…Ben.
He’s texted me a few times since Da died, but other than that, he’s left me alone. Given me space.
It’s not like we’re in a relationship or anything.
But feelings are growing within me—feelings I never thought I’d have again, despite Garrett and my recently resurfaced memories of the altar boy.
Feelings that—if I allow them to take hold—I’m not sure how to deal with.
What happened with Garrett is still so much a part of me, and now, dealing with the loss of my father plus the recovered memories of my first communion, I’m not sure I’ll be ready to have these feelings for a long time.
But the feelings don’t seem to care about any of that, because they’re here. They’re here every time I think about Ben. Every time I look at him.
Every time I remember the feel of his lips on my cheek.
Every time I think about the conversation we had about how he wanted to kiss me, but it wasn’t the right time.
Was he right?
More likely his brother told him to stay away from me. Although from what I know about Ben Black, he wouldn’t let anything—including his powerful older brother—keep him from something he wants.
And what about me?
Why am I thinking about Ben Black kissing me when I’m trying to talk to my father in the pouring rain?
Ben was right to refuse to kiss me that day at his house, right after Da died. I can’t fall into the pit of proving I’m alive by having hot monkey sex. I had enough of that in college and afterward—all the way up until Garrett.
The rain helps me, and soon I’m dripping wet. A chill runs through me, so I turn and—
I gasp.
Ben stands there, clad in his black suit and gray tie, which probably cost a fortune, and he’s getting pelted as well.
“I saw you out here,” he says. “When the rain got stronger, I figured I’d better check. You okay?”
“I think that’s a loaded question, and we both know it.”
He frowns. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Of course you’re not okay. You just lost your father.”
“At least I’ve had something to keep my mind on,” I say with a sigh.
He takes a step closer. “You want to talk?”
“Not especially. I’m so over talking right now. If I have to say, ‘Thank you so much for coming. Yes, he was a wonderful father,’ once more, I may explode.”
He glances back to the house. “People are starting to disperse. Let’s get you inside.”
I look up to the sky, letting the drops pummel my face. Then I turn and look at Ben. “I don’t I want to go inside.”
He touches my cheek. “You’re soaking wet, Tessa.”
I hold my hands out, look up to the sky once more. “So what? Since when does being soaking wet matter? I kind of feel like I need to be rained on right now.”
“Do you want to tell me why?”
I smile to the clouds. “I’ve had an amazing life.”
“Had? You’re twenty-five years old, Tessa. The majority of your life is still ahead of you.”
“I don’t mean it that way.” I put my arms down and turn to him. “I mean I had the best dad in the world. He was strict for sure. Both my parents were. But they loved me unconditionally. When I fucked up—and I fucked up a lot—they always forgave me. Of course, they punished me, but they did everything because they loved me. And then what did I do? The minute I could leave their house, I threw away all of the good values they taught me. I threw my faith to the wind, gave my virginity to the first guy who asked.”
“Tessa, everyone rebels a little bit when they leave home.”