Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 117574 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 588(@200wpm)___ 470(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117574 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 588(@200wpm)___ 470(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
“I think maybe she enjoyed having a special, secret friendship. Everybody’s got secrets, Auggie. Maybe she didn’t feel the urge to tell her grandson about her budding friendship—and maybe even her budding romance—with the widower hoarder agoraphobe next-door.”
I wince. “Romance? Is that what the peephole was for?” I run my hand through my hair. “Okay, I’ve seen enough. Let’s skip ahead to the peephole now. Please, Charlotte.”
“Okay. Just so you know, you’re missing out on a few cute scenes of their growing friendship. She came over and played Mabel’s piano a couple times and sang to him. But you can watch those videos later, if you want. I’ll fast-forward to the peephole scene now.”
“Bless you.”
Charlotte inserts the third and final Althea cassette and fast-forwards to a specific part. As she’s doing that, she says, “This is the very last cassette Lloyd ever recorded on, unless the one that’s stuck in his camera came after this one.” Charlotte stops fast-forwarding and lets the video play at normal speed. And there’s my grandmother again on the tiny screen—this time, indoors and with a wall behind her. She’s standing mere feet away from Lloyd’s camera and facing him.
“Okay, it’s on,” Lloyd’s voice says from behind the camera.
“Why, exactly, do you want to record me explaining this?” Grandma asks. “I’d honestly prefer for it to be our little secret, Lloyd.”
Lloyd replies, “And it will be, as long as we’re both still alive. But God help me, if you go first, and one of your grandsons finds that hole on your side of the wall, they’re gonna come over here and beat down my door and soundly kick my saggy ass. And rightly so.”
Grandma laughs. “I wouldn’t worry about that too much. The wallpaper in my bedroom will make the hole practically invisible on my side. Also, you’ll be relieved to know the grandson who’d probably kick your ass first and ask questions second just moved to California with his family, so he won’t be coming around much anymore. Luckily, the grandson who still lives nearby and is always coming around has the mind of a scientist—he’s in his first year of vet school here—so, I can assure you he’d ask questions first before ever hauling off and kicking an old man’s saggy ass.”
“Is that one Max?”
“No, Auggie. Max is the patent lawyer in California.”
“Well, even if Auggie paused to hear me out, he’d never believe what I’m telling him. But either way, someone’s gonna find this hole on my side of the wall after I’ve finally kicked the bucket, and I don’t want that person thinking I was a dirty old man. Maybe people I used to work with at the University would hear about it. Everyone always loves a good scandal about a dead guy, right? So, please, Althea, humor me and make this video, or I’m sorry, I’m gonna have to spackle the hole right up.”
Grandma rolls her eyes and gestures to the wall next to her like she’s a model on a gameshow introducing the grand prize. “Hello there to my family—Gigi, Max, and Auggie, and to whomever else might wind up living in either of our units one day. My name is Althea Martin, and I’m the owner of Unit 308. Well, part owner. The bank owns half. But I digress. For the record, it was my idea, and mine alone, for my dear friend here, Lloyd Graham, to drill this hole in his bedroom in Unit 307. Lloyd suffers from agoraphobia, and he gets really lonely all holed-up in here sometimes.” She glares at the camera playfully. “Unfortunately, he’s too stubborn to get a smartphone like I keep telling him to do, so we can FaceTime and—”
“It’s not that I’m stubborn. I can’t understand all that techy stuff. It stresses me out and I can’t—"
“It’s okay, honey. I was teasing you. I shouldn’t have. It’s okay, Graham Cracker. Like I said, this hole will be our version of FaceTime.” Grandma winks at the camera and blows a kiss. “So, anyway, yes, I suggested this hole, so that, whenever sweet Lloyd is feeling lonely or blue, he can look through it, any ol’ time, and see me on the other side. In fact, he can knock on the wall, any old time, and I’ll even do a little dance for him, if I’m there and actually hear the knocking.” With a chuckle, she touches her hearing aid. “Good luck with that, huh?”
“Well, to be clear, I’m never going to look through the hole without knocking on the wall first and getting a knock or holler in reply that the coast is clear for me to look.”
“The coast is clear?”
“So I don’t unwittingly catch you indisposed.”
Grandma snickers and waves at the air. “If you happen to catch a glimpse of my saggy boobs or wrinkled butt, then good for you.” She waggles her eyebrows. “Good for me, too, because Lord knows, thinking a handsome man might be peeking at me at any given moment of the day or night would definitely add some cha-cha-cha to my boring, old life.”