My Neighbor’s Secret – Alternate Cover Read Online Lauren Rowe

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 117574 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 588(@200wpm)___ 470(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
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“Hey, do you want to know a cool trick to keep nightmares away?” Auggie says, plainly changing the subject. “If you do this trick at bedtime, it makes it almost impossible to have a nightmare.”

“Really?”

“It’s not perfect, but only because nothing’s perfect, but it works almost every time. Do you want to know how to do it?”

Zach nods excitedly.

“Okay, so after you get snuggly into bed, and the lights have been turned off, you pull the covers up and sing yourself a silly song. You can also get someone else to sing one to you. Either way, it’ll work like a charm. But singing one to yourself works the very best.”

Zach crinkles his little brow. “Like ‘Wheels on da Bus,’ you mean?”

“That one would definitely work. But the trick works even better if it’s a made-up silly song. One you make up on the spot about your day, maybe.”

Zach’s little shoulders droop. “I don’t know how to make up a song.”

“Sure, you do. We’re all born knowing how to do that.”

“We are?”

“Yep. All you have to do is let your mind wander and kind of float around. Think about something fun or funny, and let your mind go, and the words will tumble out.”

Zach looks thoroughly confused.

“I’ll show you,” Auggie says. “Did something silly ever happen to you?”

Zach considers the question. “Once, I spilled apple juice on da floor in da kitchen. And den Rudy licked it all up, so you couldn’t even tell, and Mommy said, ‘Thanks to Rudy, we don’t even need a mop!’” Zachary giggles at the memory.

“That’s perfect,” Auggie says. “A core memory. Let’s sing about that.” He pauses to choose his words. And then, he sings in a lilting, gentle voice, “I spilled some juice, cuz my arms got loose. But that’s okay, no need for a mop, not even a bucket, cuz Rudy came along to save the day and lick it.”

Zach and I applaud.

“That was amazing,” I say, and it’s the truth. Auggie wasn’t singing in a serious voice; he was simply joking around and having fun. But just that snippet made it clear the man can definitely carry a tune.

“Anudder one!” Zach says, his little face lit up.

“How about you try it now,” Auggie prompts.

“Can you do one more?” Zach begs. And just like Ryan before him with Claire, Auggie can’t refuse a tiny, pleading face.

“Okay, one more,” Auggie says.

“Do one about something silly you did this time, Uncle Auggie.”

Uncle Auggie. Auggie and I exchange a brief look—one that acknowledges his upgrade to uncle status.

“Okay.” After pausing, Auggie sings, “I’ve got a salami sandwich and it’s yummy and fun to eat. It’s fun having a salami sandwich, even though I’d make more bread with some really pretty feet.”

I burst out laughing at Auggie’s coded song with its secret subtext, as Zach naively guffaws about Auggie’s actual, kid-friendly words.

“Bravo,” I say, clapping. “A masterpiece.”

Auggie winks at me. “You liked that one, Auntie Charlotte?”

“I did. I’m in awe of you. You’ve actually got quite the knack for this silly songwriting thing.”

“I had the best teacher, ever.” He explains to Zach, “My grandmother loved singing silly songs. She did it all the time.”

I rub Auggie’s back, comforting him about the loss of his beloved grandma. “You have a really nice singing voice. With that face and that voice, you truly could have been in boy bander. The world missed out.”

Auggie laughs. “Unfortunately, I don’t have the dance moves, so I never would have made the cut. Plus, I get stage fright.” He winks. “Well, I used to, anyway.”

I feel myself blush. “I can’t wait to judge your dance skills for myself when you perform your middle school *NSYNC routine for me.”

Auggie scowls. “I was hoping you’d forgotten about that.”

“Not a chance, baby. I’d sooner forget my own name.”

Auggie rolls his eyes before returning to Zach. “Okay, it’s your turn now. You can sing about anything and it doesn’t have to rhyme. Let your mind wander and the words will tumble out.

Zach gives it a whirl, and the disjointed, rambling song he produces is truly the cutest thing, ever. When he’s done, Auggie and I applaud and praise him, and Zach expresses excitement.

“I think it’s already working!” he says. “I can feel tonight’s nightmare going away!”

“See? I’m telling you. It works like magic.”

“Will you tell Mommy and Daddy the trick, so Mommy doesn’t have another nightmare?”

“We sure will,” Auggie says, patting Zach’s little arm.

“It’s so sweet of you to want to take care of your mommy,” I say, just as Ryan and Tessa enter the room.

Zach excitedly tells his parents the fabulous trick “Uncle Auggie” taught him, so he won’t have nightmares, and, of course, he also tells Tessa, “You can do da trick, too, Mommy, so you won’t have any more nightmares!”

Tessa looks confused, so Ryan leans in and whispers into her ear—something that makes it hard for Tessa to keep a straight face. As Tessa reacts comically, the other three adults in the room chuckle and swap amused, knowing glances.


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