Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 90919 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90919 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
“You can talk to me about whatever you want,” he said, pulling off his hoodie.
“I do talk to you about whatever I want,” I agreed. “But you’re just as fucked up as I am. I need a professional.”
Cian let out a huff of laughter. “That’s fair.”
We were quiet as I stripped off my pajama pants and slid under the covers.
“You know Aoife pretty much raised me?”
“Yeah,” I replied, turning to look at him. He’d sat down on the vanity stool, his hands clasped between his knees.
“My dad died when I was nine.”
“I remember.”
“And my mom was still there,” he said quietly. “But for all intents and purposes, she abandoned us.”
I nodded.
“I think it fucked with me more than I realized.”
“Understandable,” I replied softly.
“When you disappear on me? Leaves a really bad taste in my mouth,” he said, looking up to meet my eyes. “A familiar taste.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He shook his head. “Not tryin’ to guilt you. Just tryin’ to explain why it took so fuckin’ long before I grew a pair and made shit official.”
“I’m not going to leave you,” I murmured, tucking my hands under my cheek. “I wasn’t even really leaving you then. For me, I was just putting us on pauses. Restarting.”
“Don’t wanna restart with you anymore.”
“I promised I wouldn’t do it again,” I reminded him.
“I know.” He let out a long breath. “I know you did.”
“Why are you bringing it up, baby?”
“Because I realized today—it doesn’t matter what you do. I’m still gonna be right here. I’m not goin’ anywhere. You take off? I’m gonna be right where you left me when you get back. No conditions. No ultimatums. This is where I’ll be.” He was holding something between his fingers. “You do it, I’ll stay. But it’ll hurt me.”
“I understand,” I replied, my nose stinging.
“And I’ll tell you the important shit.”
“Okay.”
“You in this with me?”
“Always,” I murmured.
With a nod, he stood and leaned over the bed. I thought he was reaching for my face, and I tipped my head up for a kiss, but his hand wrapped around my wrist instead, pulling it toward him.
“Holy shit,” I whispered as he slid the ring on my finger.
“Had some extra cash lyin’ around since I didn’t need a down payment,” he joked roughly.
The diamond was round and big and had little clusters of smaller diamonds on the sides—I knew nothing about jewelry, but I loved it so much.
“Had Lou help me find it. She said you’d like vintage.”
“This is vintage?” I asked, yanking my hand back so I could look at it up close.
“Don’t know the history, but it’s old,” he said in amusement. “But I took it to a jeweler, and it won’t fall apart or anything. The stones won’t fall out.”
“It’s so beautiful.”
“I was gonna wait to ask you,” he said, lying down beside me. “But I already told your dad I was gonna ask you—”
“Ask me what?” I batted my eyelashes at him.
He shot me a look and kept talking. “I didn’t want him to start flappin’ his jaws and have you find out from a random cousin or somethin’.”
“Ask me what?” I repeated.
“You gonna marry me?”
I looked at him for a moment, thinking. “I suppose that will do.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“Yes, I’ll marry you.”
“Doesn’t have to be right now,” he said, fiddling with the ring. “We can wait however long you want.”
“Maybe next year?”
“Tell me where to be, and I’ll be there.”
“Are you going to wear a tux?”
“Fuck no.”
“You’re no fun.”
“I’m the fuckin’ life of the party,” he replied, deadpan.
When he leaned forward to kiss me, everything around us faded away. The scent of his skin and the abrasion of his beard against my cheeks, and the feel of his strong hands cupping my face and gripping my fingers were suddenly my entire world. We were two pieces of a whole. It may have taken us a bit to find out how we fit, but now that we knew, we seemed to flow together seamlessly.
Eventually, we’d get married. I’d convince him to attend a therapy session with me, and my therapist would watch wide-eyed as we argued the entire time and then be perfectly happy to leave together. Someday, I’d give him babies. We’d buy a bigger house.
But that night? We were just happy to be cocooned in bed together, safe and warm and sleepy, talking about all the things we wanted and all of the things we needed and all of the reasons that we were the only ones who could give those things to each other.