Total pages in book: 238
Estimated words: 231781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1159(@200wpm)___ 927(@250wpm)___ 773(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 231781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1159(@200wpm)___ 927(@250wpm)___ 773(@300wpm)
From that moment on, it seemed I was always aware of her, and everything I did, I did it with it in mind that she was watching.
Every joke in class. Every strut into the lunchroom. Every new haircut and every new pair of jeans.
Even the Raptor. My first thought when my parents bought it was how she’d look in it.
This stupid fantasy of her running to my truck after school, smiling and skipping at my side, unable to keep her hands off me because I was her boyfriend and I always took my girl home from school.
I hated that she was alone. She was always alone, and she shouldn’t have been, because she should’ve been with me.
But the older she got, the angrier she got, and the more desperate I got in trying to forget her, and I just needed this to be over.
Nothing got better with her. It just decayed.
She was never going to lie in my arms in a bed that belonged to both of us.
“I love you, Will,” she said in a quiet voice.
I froze, my hand paused on her temple as I stared down at her.
What?
My legs nearly gave out from under me, and I gaped at her, pinching my eyebrows together and trying to see if her eyes were open or if she was still sleeping, but…
I knew she was awake. Her breathing had calmed, and her body had relaxed.
“Do you remember the night you snuck into my room?” she asked, still facing away from me. “When you’d had it with me and tried to walk out on me?”
EverNight. The night I met her grandmother for the first time.
She sniffled. “I warned you I wasn’t a happy person, and there were so many reasons I didn’t want to let you in, but…” She trailed, trying to find her words. “The only time I ever loved my life was when I was with you.”
My hand still lingered on her brow, unmoving.
Now? She was telling me this now?
“I was always your Em,” she whispered. “No matter what I said or what I did or all the ways I let life win over the years… That night, I knew. I was in love with you.”
The backs of my eyes stung, and I clenched my teeth.
“You can leave, and I’ll survive. I always do,” she told me. “I just wanted you to know that.”
And just like that again, I couldn’t remember why she was bad for me, and I just wanted her where she was supposed to be.
With me.
All the hate and anger and loss melted away, and I wanted to crawl in behind her and hold her the rest of the night, but I knew my eyes would be open in the morning and the light would hurt.
Everything would hurt.
I clenched my fist, just wanting to stay, but I couldn’t do this anymore.
I was clean of all vices, except one, and I needed to shake her. I needed to shake her, so I could go home.
I left, too much pride to disappear into the wall again. I opened the door and walked out, closing it behind me and leaving her in the dark.
I wanted to know what he said to her—what he whispered in her ear by the front door—when I went in there, but I couldn’t stay another second, or I almost wouldn’t care about anything but her for the rest of the night.
She loved me.
She loved me.
The world swayed in front of me.
But it was just another example of how everyone did what they wanted to me because they thought I couldn’t stay mad.
I mean, Damon almost killed me. Brutally and so badly, I could barely step foot in any body of water that wasn’t a bathtub, and it didn’t take much for me to forgive him.
I wasn’t giving anyone else easy chances.
“Will,” Aydin called as I passed his room.
I stopped, tensing.
I didn’t want to talk to him right now, because whatever shit came out of his mouth would just mess with my head more. God, I wanted a cigarette. Hopefully Winter hadn’t broken Damon of that completely yet, or I’d have to start buying my own packs when I got home.
Micah swiped the straight razor up Aydin’s throat as he sat back in his chair, leaning his head back.
Walking in, I held out my hand, taking the razor. Micah hesitated only a moment and then handed it to me, walking out.
Standing behind Aydin, I picked up where Micah had left off, shaving the next stroke. I gave him the better shave, so he preferred me to do it.
“Do you think you’d be in charge?” Aydin asked. “If I weren’t here?”
I tightened my fist around the handle, sliding up his neck again. One quick stroke right now, and I would be in charge.
He knew that.
He also thought he was brave, letting me shave him when he knew how easy it would be for me to end him right now in order to protect Emmy and Alex.