Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 107944 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 540(@200wpm)___ 432(@250wpm)___ 360(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107944 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 540(@200wpm)___ 432(@250wpm)___ 360(@300wpm)
I had a few secrets that had been eating at me since I’d gotten back to Leeks, secrets that I wanted to reveal sooner than later, but I wasn’t exactly sure how to go about it. Two secrets that would undoubtedly change everything for me.
Secret number one: I didn’t want to be an actor anymore. Being away from home for a whole year came with a heavy dose of homesickness that I didn’t expect. Sure, before the past year, I’d filmed things for a few months here and there, but being gone for such a long time was a lot harder on me than I thought. I missed my normal life. I missed my family and Hailee.
Which brought me to secret number two: I. Missed. Hailee.
Throughout our friendship, waves of unexplainable feelings hit me whenever I was around her. There were times when she’d hug me, and I’d have the urge not to let her go. Sometimes she’d laugh, and I’d dream about the sound. There were times when she was doing the most mundane thing, and I’d look at her, and all I’d want to do was cover her face in a thousand kisses. I always thought those were fleeting feelings. They came fast but would always dissipate when I thought about how if I did have a crush on my best friend, it could ruin our friendship forever.
Then I went to California for a year. It was almost as if I truly realized how special Hailee was when I was forced to be away from her. People surrounded me nonstop in Los Angeles, but I wasn’t surrounded by my people. My person.
I was determined to tell Hailee about my feelings and then proceed to make my senior year the best year ever with her. I just hadn’t built up the courage yet. Which meant I only had one secret worth focusing on at that time—my growing hatred of acting.
My parents had put a lot of time and money into my acting career. When I was young and said I wanted to be an actor, they supported it to the fullest. Dad made sure I gave it my all, and I did, but now I didn’t have the same passion I once held for it. Being around Hollywood somehow made me jaded. I felt as if I was losing parts of my roots, and even though I didn’t know what I wanted to do, I knew I didn’t want to continue down that road.
Having that conversation with my parents wasn’t going to be easy, but I figured dinner that night would be a good time to just blurt it out. Rip the Band-Aid off.
When I approached the dining room, Dad was already standing, putting food on each plate. He looked up at me and raised an eyebrow. “You and that phone are attached at your hip so much lately. No phones at the dinner table unless it’s for business.”
Dad and his dinnertime rules.
Mom walked into the room and kissed my forehead. “Hey, baby.”
We started eating, and it felt both great and nerve-wracking to have one of Mom’s home-cooked meals. My mother was a fantastic chef, one of the best in the Midwest, if not the world. Her restaurant in Chicago was thriving. It was the reason she couldn’t spend as much time in Los Angeles with me as Dad did. So coming home to her home-cooked meals felt like being spoiled.
My agent said I should’ve avoided certain foods to keep my physique, but I couldn’t pass up Mom’s cooking. All I knew was if I could have a few days not eating chicken and rice, I would celebrate it. Before the past few years, I’d never worried about my weight, but over the last year, when I had to get cut for a role, it was all I seemed to ever think about. I didn’t talk about it to anyone, though, because I would’ve sounded like a little bitch complaining about getting a six-pack and getting paid to act in movies and shows. What a hard life, Aiden.
Therefore, I kept my struggles to myself.
I hated that one of the first things that I did when I got home was weigh in, too. Then the following morning, I weighed myself again. It was as if the number on the scale and the image in the mirror were one of the most important things to me.
Before I left Leeks, I didn’t even own a scale. Now, I could look down and guesstimate how many macros were sitting on my plate. Another reason I wanted out of that industry. Insecurities ran rampant.
“How was your first day?” Mom asked, shaking me from my thoughts.
“Good. I was able to switch lunch so I could have mine with Hailee. The teachers are all nice, too.”
“Are people excited to see you?” she questioned.