Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 76696 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76696 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
“It’s a tribal tattoo,” Zach said before I could ask. “It was a spur of the moment kind of thing. I loved the design.”
“It’s beautiful.” I traced the edges. “Maybe one day I’ll get a tattoo too.”
Zach lied down beside me, a curious look on his face. “Really?”
“Yeah. I once saw one I really liked. It was a quote ‘Sometimes you’ve gotta fall before you fly’ with birds fluttering away from the words.”
Zach cupped my cheek and kissed me. “Where?” he whispered against my lips. Drawing up my courage, I lifted my shirt up to my ribcage and motioned along my side. “The birds are supposed to fly over my scar.” I couldn’t meet Zach’s gaze. The scar below my ribs on the upper left side of my stomach was ugly. It was almost as long as my hand. Over the years it had paled but it was impossible to miss. I knew Zach was looking at it. How could he not? He reached out and put his hand over my scar. “Is this okay?”
I nodded, not able to speak. “It’s ugly. I know.”
“No, Amber,” Zach said fiercely. “No part of you could ever be ugly.” He leaned down very slowly, eyes on me as he placed a kiss on the scar. Goosebumps erupted all over my skin. I shivered at the feel of his mouth. “Does it still hurt?”
“No. It’ll always be a reminder of that day. Whenever I see or feel it, I’m forced to remember.” My voice broke. Zach’s eyes flashed with emotion. I could see that he wanted to ask what had happened. “They beat and kicked me when they were done with me. And when I passed out from the beatings, they tried to strangle me. They thought I was dead, so they left me. My spleen was ruptured and several ribs were broken as well bones in almost every part of my body. They had to remove my spleen. That’s why I have the scar.” It was strange hearing me say the words. They sounded detached, as if I was talking about something that had happened to someone else. Zach’s jaw twitched and he closed his eyes for a moment before he opened them again. He touched his forehead to mine. “I wished I could turn back time and kill those men before they got you. I would make them suffer. I wished there was a way to take away the memories.” Tears filled my eyes as I stared at Zach. “Every day with you makes it better, Zach. I never thought I could have what you give me. Those men said nobody would ever want me after what they’d done, so they were being merciful by killing me. For a long time I believed them.”
He swallowed hard. “Everything they said was a lie. I want you, Amber, scars and all.” He grasped my left arm and turned it over revealing the long scar from my second suicide attempt. He rubbed his thumb over it with a strange expression on his face. “I’m so glad your father found you in time.”
“He almost didn’t. I put a lot of research into my second try. When I woke in the hospital, I was so angry at my father because he’d saved me. I hated him because he couldn’t let me go, because he loved me too much.” I choked out a laugh.
“Have you ever thought about trying again since then?” Zach was still running his fingers over the soft skin of my forearm. I considered lying, but his eyes compelled me to say the truth. “Almost every day.” Zach’s grip tightened. “But I won’t. It’s more like a light at the end of a tunnel for me when the darkness of living gets too much.” Zach pressed his face into the crook of my neck. “God, Amber. Promise me you won’t ever try it again.”
“I won’t try again.” I knew it was something I couldn’t promise. Could anybody ever promise something like that? I’d learned to live with the horrors of my past, but I couldn’t tell what the future would bring.
I curled my fingers around Zach’s neck and brought his face up for a kiss. My tongue traced over his lips and slowly our kiss morphed into something that sent tingles through my body. I pressed my palms against Zach’s chest as we kissed before I took one of Zach’s hands and put it over my ribcage. I drew back to speak. “It’s okay if you touch me,” I said quietly.
“Do you want me to touch you? That’s what really matters.”
“Yes, I want you to touch me.” My cheeks flamed but I returned Zach’s heated gaze. “Where?” I bit my lip and lowered my eyes. “Everywhere above my waistband.”
For a moment, nothing happened and I risked a peek up. Zach scanned my face as if he was trying to see if I was serious. “You tell me if you don’t like something I do, okay? And if something scares you, you say stop at once. No trying to bear anything. I want you to enjoy this. Promise me.”
“I promise.” Zach kissed me again, his tongue making every nerve in my body snap to attention. His hand on my ribcage inched upward until his fingertips grazed the underside of my breast. He traced his fingers along the crease toward my side, then up to my armpit and up to my shoulder. His touch was feather-soft and made my body buzz with a pleasant ache. It felt so good and he wasn’t even doing all that much. His eyes bored into me as he stroked his thumb over my collarbone, then slowly lower, over the swell of my breast. Although his finger was so close, he didn’t touch my nipple. Instead he drew slow circles around it. I gasped against his mouth at the sensation his teasing sent through my body. Something warm pooled between my legs and I squirmed in surprise. Zach’s eyes darted toward my thighs as if he knew exactly what his touch did to me. A grin curled his lips when his gaze returned to me. My nipples were hard and straining against the soft material of my top. I wanted Zach to finally touch me there. I made an impatient sound. “What do you want?” Zach murmured against the skin below my ear, softly kissing the spot.