Total pages in book: 20
Estimated words: 18571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 93(@200wpm)___ 74(@250wpm)___ 62(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 18571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 93(@200wpm)___ 74(@250wpm)___ 62(@300wpm)
“A mystery you’d like to solve,” his cousin nodded sagely, as if he’d been expecting as much. “Like my three-pickle problem. Is that the kind of mystery you’re talking about?”
When Matthew didn’t deny it, Robert groaned. “Hell, he’s in love. And there goes another potential wingman.”
“Unless you want to start hitting the gay bars,” Rory agreed with a laugh.
“No offense, Finn, but it’s a woman I need.”
“You need to read her books. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Will her books explain why Matthew is drooling after a vampire stripper when he was into girls until about five minutes ago? Because that’s what we’re talking about.”
Rory chuckled. “I can’t believe I got you to say vampire stripper.”
Matthew ran a hand through his hair, lowering his voice to a harsh whisper. “Oi! I’m sittin’ right here. What say we focus on the desperate man, lads?”
They both obediently turned in his direction. “Grand. Yes, I got you here under false pretenses, but I had a reason. Robert is a marketing guru and you’re the go-to on navigating difficult situations. I happen to be a man in need of guidance and potential rebranding, since my usual sales pitch is aimed at the opposite sex. If that’s not a prickly problem for you to solve, I don’t know what is.”
“Pickle problem.” Rory blinked in surprise. “Wait. Robert, can you record this on your phone? I think we’re being asked for dating advice.”
“Sure, now I’m Robert.”
Matthew wanted to snarl in frustration, but then he noticed Oliver starting his lunges. God love those damn lunges and the perfect ass they’d created.
“I’m not sure I know how to approach him here without coming off like a wanker. If we were at a club, maybe, but… I just realized tonight that I’m not sure if he’s single. I’m not even sure if he’s gay.”
Rory’s smile was practically angelic. “Trust me, he’s gay. And you definitely have it bad. Luckily, you came to the right OG.”
“OG?”
“Original Gay,” Rory clarified for Robert. “Solomon may be the oldest but he was living in the deepest closet created by man until a few years ago. Owen was a serial womanizer and kinky bastard, like our boy Matthew, so there is a precedent. Seamus was trapped in perpetually single dad-pants, and Jen was engaged to a limp-noodled loser instead of living it up with two hot bisexuals.”
“What about Brady?”
He quelled Matthew with a look. “Brady is a giant anomaly. Also his fiancé could have this place bugged for all I know, so let’s leave them both out of it just to be safe.”
“I can see why my sisters like you,” Robert laughed.
“All the Waynes adore me. I’m the LGBT EMT that’s the GOAT.”
Rory shook his head sadly at Matthew’s confused frown. “Greatest of all time? You’re only twenty-three, my little shillelagh. How can you not know that? Jake knows that.”
Jake was the eldest son of Seamus Finn, the first family member they’d met in Ireland before William had rushed his two siblings across the ocean to keep them out of trouble and away from his old boss.
“There is nothing little about my shillelagh,” he insisted. “But your excessive use of initials has forced me to close your advice-giving window. Robert? You’re up.”
Robert lifted his hands in surrender. “I appreciate the guru status and the confidence, Matthew, but I’m a breast man, so I’m not sure how to help you. And the last time I tried to set my brother up on a date, things went so wrong I was temporarily voted off the island.”
Rory smiled victoriously, but Robert wasn’t finished. “The reason I set it up was because Hugo had spent a lot of time suffering instead of going after the man he really wanted. So maybe that’s an answer. If you want to make a move, just get off your ass and do it. If you fail, at least you tried. But if you keep waiting, a well-meaning relative might play matchmaker out of the goodness of their heart and makes things a million times worse.”
Matthew instantly slid off his stool and Rory scoffed. “Don’t pretend that worked. Just do it? He stole my advice window and gave you a sneaker slogan. I’m telling the family to vote you off the island again,” he said to a grinning Robert.
Robert rolled his eyes. “He doesn’t need to rebrand or navigate anything. He just needed to run it by someone who wouldn’t judge him and get the go ahead. He has it now. What’s the problem?”
“That’s not what he said,” Rory corrected, stepping over to Matthew. “Don’t tell Nora, but I partially agree with him.”
“You do know I can hear you, right?” Robert asked curiously.
“You’re nervous because it’s new, but try not to overthink it,” Rory said, ignoring him. “It’s not that different from dating a girl from the club. You’re still just a guy, standing in your brother’s gym, asking another guy if he’s open to anal.”