Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
His arms come around my body as well and he squeezes me to him. “Yeah, me too.”
I want to lose the battle with my tears then. But again, I hold on and say, “I wish… I wish I could take it all back, you know? I wish I could… I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to do what I did.”
“I know.” Then, “But if you hadn’t done what you did, we never would’ve met. We never would’ve danced together. I wouldn’t have my best friend.”
Best friend.
Yeah, he’s that.
He’s the very best friend anyone could ever ask for.
The very best friend that I don’t even deserve.
Clenching my eyes shut, I squeeze my arms around him again. “I can’t believe you did that. I can’t believe you… asked me to marry you just because…”
“Well, I’m known to do reckless things.”
Something occurs to me then. “Is that why you wouldn’t let me stay with you in your room? And you haven’t been hanging out as much?”
He smiles sadly, his thumb coming to rest on the side of my eye, wiping the tear that managed to squeeze out despite all my efforts. “If I was hanging out with you all the time, he wouldn’t have time to hang out with you, now would he?”
“He—”
“And he has, hasn’t he?”
I stiffen in his embrace. “Shepard, I—”
“And I noticed that you’re not wearing my ring.”
Thank God my hands are behind his back or I would be hiding them from sight right about now. “No, it’s not that. It’s—”
“He took it, didn’t he?”
My eyes go wide. “I… How—”
“I would’ve done the same thing.”
“Shepard, I’m sorry. I—”
“It’s okay. I know.” His jaw tenses for a second, but he keeps going. “I set the whole thing up, so yeah, I’m aware.”
Still guilt crushes my chest. “I should’ve come to you right away. The night you proposed to me. I knew I was… I don’t know, taking advantage of you, leaning on you too much and I… I should’ve told you that it wasn’t a good idea. I should’ve told you. I should’ve said that even though you were giving me what I wanted, I would never be able to do the same and I’m just so sorry about that. So fucking sorry.”
His dark eyes, similar to the man I love, rove over my features. “If you had, then I probably wouldn’t have been able to witness a miracle.”
“What miracle?”
“My twin brother pissed as fuck.” He chuckles. “I honestly thought he was going to kick my fucking teeth in the other day in the parking lot.”
My heart clenches at the memory.
Of how pissed he looked. How agitated and worried for just a little thing.
And I swat Shepard’s chest. “It’s not funny. He really would have.”
“Yeah, I would’ve liked to see him try.”
“I’m serious, Shep,” I tell him, looking him in the eyes. “He’s… He’s complicated.”
“Is he, now?”
“He is,” I insist. “There’s… There’s something in there. There’s something more. Something deep inside of him that I don’t know. That no one knows.”
“Well, what’s deep inside of him is ten feet of ice.” He scoffs. “I’ve known him my entire life and trust me when I say there’s nothing inside of him. Except a fucking winter wasteland.”
My heart aches for him then.
That his own twin thinks that about him, that he has nothing to offer.
My heart aches for Shep too. Because I think he wants there to be something inside of Stellan, something to show that they have a bond, isn’t it? Maybe that’s why he keeps provoking Stellan. To get a reaction out of him. To see if he cares. If that’s the truth, then I understand that. I did the same thing for over a year.
Only to find out that yes, Stellan Thorne is not cold as ice or cold as winter.
He’s hot as wildfire.
“You just said that he feels something for me,” I remind him.
He grows serious. “And for your sake, I hope it’s enough to make him realize what a lucky son of a bitch he is.”
Overwhelmed, I bring my hand up to his jaw. “I don’t deserve you.”
Again, he throws me a lopsided smile.
Although this one is more like his usual smile. Arrogant and mischievous. “Yeah, you do. It’s him who doesn’t deserve you.”
“That’s not—”
“Which is why,” he says, “you aren’t going to tell him.”
“What?”
“That this is fake.”
I pull away from him. “Shepard, no. I can’t do that. I… We can’t do that.”
“We need to do it,” he points out. “You want him, don’t you? This is the only way to get him. If he thinks he’s going to lose you to someone else, to me no less, he’ll probably pull his head out of his ass and see what he has.”
Oh my God, he sounds like my biji.
“But, Shepard.” I shake my head. “Not like this. Not like… I can’t deceive him. I can’t lie to him anymore.” He goes to say something, but I keep going, “Listen, I did that, okay? I already did that and it was a disaster. He hated that I lied to him about dating you. He’s going to actually lose his shit if—”