Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
I mean, he knows me, of course, but he knows me as his best friend, not as a girlfriend. And I’ve never been anyone’s girlfriend before, but I assume I’m going to be very gung-ho about it. I’m going to be overly dramatic, super lovey-dovey with perpetual heart eyes and throws-pink-glitter-and-confetti-everywhere kind of girlfriend.
So I go with something I would normally go with.
Isadora
I saw your game tonight.
I’m so sorry you lost. 😢
I see the dots going on the screen once again and I pray they don’t last as long as they did before. And they don’t, thankfully. It’s only a little progress, but I will take it.
Shepard
Yeah, it was shitty.
I know my next words won’t help all that much, but still, I send them to him. Because another thing about Shep: he’s always so hard on himself when it comes to soccer. Which I find both admirable and heartbreaking at the same time. He’s one of the best players out there, but he’s always competing against himself, trying to be better and better. Sometimes I wish he’d stop and celebrate his hard work too.
Isadora
It was. But you played like you always do, amazingly. 😍😍😍
Shepard
Did I?
Isadora
Yes!
Shepard
And how would you know that?
Isadora
Because I know you!
Shepard
But you know nothing about soccer.
Isadora
I do too! You taught me.
Shepard
What did I teach you?
Isadora
The first thing you taught me is that when the ball hits the net, it’s a goal.
Shepard
I do sound smart.
Isadora
And you did that tonight. You hit the net.
Shepard
Can’t deny that.
Isadora
In fact you were the only one.
Shepard
Can’t deny that either.
Isadora
See? So you should at least be happy about that.
Shepard
I would. Except only the captain hitting the net doesn’t really cut it because soccer’s a team sport.
Did I forget to teach you that?
Isadora
You’re hilarious. 😂
Shepard
That should’ve been lesson number two.
Isadora
I have lesson number three for you.
Shepard
Yeah, what’s that?
Isadora
Stop moping around about a loss because there’s always a next time.
Shepard
Very inspirational.
Isadora
I can be inspiring. 🥰
Shepard
I probably should get a bumper sticker with that.
Isadora
You probably should.
Along with that thing you always say.
Shepard
What thing?
Isadora
That arrogance is just confidence with extra inches.
Shepard
Yeah I do say that, don’t I?
Isadora
And from what I remember you have a lot of extra inches.
Oh and yes, that was a double entendre.😉😉😉
I chuckle as I send the message off, and in a rush of happiness, I realize something. That the awkwardness is gone. As always, our conversation just flowed and what do you know, I forgot about everything else.
In fact, this is the first time in days that I haven’t thought about anything else. I haven’t thought about my rehearsals, the upcoming play. I haven’t thought about my mother and my smarting skin. I haven’t even thought about… him and—
Oh great.
I just did that, didn’t I?
I just thought about him while celebrating the fact that I hadn’t thought about him for five minutes. And now that he’s popped up in my head, I can’t help but also think that the only time I forget the world, the only time I forget everything else that exists in the world, is when I talk to him.
But maybe it’s not unique to him.
This phenomenon.
This amnesia that seems to occur only in his presence.
Maybe Shepard can make me forget things too.
And that’s wonderful, isn’t it?
Yes, it is, I tell myself. It is a good thing.
When my phone pings with a text again, I forcefully push all the thoughts of him away and focus on my goal. On my best friend.
Shepard
Looks like you’ve learned from the best after all.
I go to type something cheeky, but his next text that immediately whooshes in gives me pause.
Shepard
But I’m afraid I should really stop talking out of my ass.
Isadora
What?
Shepard
Because if I keep doing that there won’t ever be a next time.
Isadora
What? What does that mean?
Shepard
I got benched.
My eyes go wide as I stare at his reply. For a few seconds, I can’t make sense of it.
Is he joking?
Because he does that a lot. He jokes around. He makes fun of things; he keeps things light. But I don’t remember him ever, ever making a joke about soccer. He takes it way too seriously. And I can’t type fast enough.
Isadora
Are you joking?
Shepard
No.
His one-word reply, so unlike him, by the way, makes my heart race. It makes my heart pound and pound in my chest. With dread. With confusion.
Isadora
But what happened? Why would they bench you? 😤
Shepard
Because as I just said I was doing the thing that I always do, running my mouth.
Isadora
Running your mouth about what?! 🤬🤬🤬
It doesn’t make sense. Did you have a fight with Coach Thorne? What happened? Why would he do that? 🤬🤬🤬
Shepard
There was a Coach Thorne, yes. But not the one you’re thinking of.
I’m frowning harder now.
My heart is galloping harder as well. The more I talk to him and ask questions, the more confused I become.
What is he talking about?
What does he mean by not the one I’m thinking of? There’s only one…