Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 84266 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84266 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“Come on. You need some fun.” Ben ran a hand through his military-short brown hair. He didn’t really have to advertise that he was a SEAL to get laid—the massive biceps bulging out of the tight T-shirt and muscular legs in black jeans were incentive enough for most guys. And for the truly picky, his movie-star-next-door grin usually did the trick, but it wasn’t working on Maddox. Not tonight.
This was how he and Ben were so freaking different—Ben needed to fuck around and Maddox... Well, he needed to hunker down, pretend like he didn’t care, like he was nothing other than happy for him and excited about shipping out. “You go ahead.”
“I thought maybe...” Ben exhaled before giving him a searching look, one that made Maddox study the sink again, afraid of what Ben might see on his face. He wouldn’t change his mind. Not this night, not any night, not ever again. No more whatevers. “Okay. You’re welcome if you change your mind,” Ben said at last.
Was that disappointment in his voice? What would he see in Ben’s eyes? Maddox wasn’t sure what to hope for anymore, and he continued to study the sink as Ben left for the living room.
He took his time finishing the cleanup, trying to not listen in on the small talk coming from the other room...or get caught up in the long pauses in conversation that undoubtedly meant Ben’s talkative companion’s mouth was otherwise occupied. Maddox caught the timer right before it dinged and set the muffins on the cooling rack.
Nothing really left to do but walk out there. It would be okay. He’d smile, offer the muffins on the cooling rack, grab his tablet and headphones from the coffee table and head off to his room and crank the song he was trying to learn until he couldn’t hear...whatever. But when he got out to the living room it was empty.
A laugh that wasn’t Ben’s came from down the hall followed by a guttural sound that almost certainly was. Why did Maddox have to know that sound? Things would be so much easier if he didn’t. No one’s fault but yours.
Maddox snatched up the tablet and headphones, jamming the earpieces on right there, not waiting to get to his room. And if his heart gave a sad little flutter that Ben’s door was firmly shut, that whatever was off the table, exactly the way he’d wanted, well then that too was his own damn fault, and all he could do was hope that someday, somehow, things would be right between them again.
Chapter Two
“Fucking rain. Who visits Kalimantan in monsoon season?” Rogers groused from his seat next to Ben. They’d left the base in the Philippines in the dead of night, bound for the large Indonesian island best known for Borneo and the Tanjung Puting National Park where tourists could roam around the rainforest with orangutans.
“Fucking tourists,” Ben echoed him without much actual ire. He and his team were about the last thing from tourists, and there wouldn’t be any frolicking with wildlife on this mission. Instead, they were intent on rescuing the kidnapped sons of two senators who’d been dumb enough to travel around the island at the wrong time of year and unlucky enough to land on the radar of a known terrorist cell.
Ever since some ISIS bombings in Jakarta earlier in the year, Indonesia had been the subject of increased military activity, and Ben’s SEAL team had logged some serious flight hours over the Pacific and Indian Oceans the past few months.
“It’s the tail end of monsoon season.” Maddox could always be counted on to break up a bitch session. Years past, he’d be the one next to Ben, not Rogers, but that was before everything went weird. Now it was Rogers and his contagious bad attitude, and Maddox two seats back, next to the LT. “And the one kid’s got like 500,000 Instagram followers for his travel pictures. People trust him to have an adventure. Nothing wrong with that. How about we not victim-blame here?”
“Killjoy,” Rogers muttered, sinking lower in his seat. “Did I hear a rumor we’ll be through with your sorry ass next year, Preacher?”
“Wait. What?” Ben sat up straighter, back muscles going tight when Maddox didn’t quickly rebuke Rogers.
“Horvat. You need to get in there. Get your re-up bonus money before they run out again.” The LT had a voice like truck tires on gravel. “Tovey, you got yours in, right?”
“Yes, sir. Not gonna be rid of me.” Ben aimed for a lighter tone even as he beamed question marks at Maddox. He’d taken care of the paperwork as soon as he’d been eligible, re-enlisting for a total of seven more years, which would bring him to nineteen when all was said and done. Not that Ben was a bean counter, looking for his twenty. No, he’d serve right up until the day they tried to put his ass behind a desk. And he’d simply assumed that he’d have Maddox right beside him.