Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 84266 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84266 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Ben’s laugh was pained. “Don’t remind me about that training mission.” He opened his kit again, taking out the thin space blanket. “You’re awfully wet. Don’t you go into shock while I’m gone.”
“Yes, mother.” Maddox had to joke because he’d never seen Ben this protective or worried before, and that made his own dread rise. He wished he could shake the stupor clouding his brain.
“And whatever you do, don’t fall asleep. Do whatever you can to stay awake.”
“Even sing?” Maddox knew how much Ben hated that.
“Hum your heart out, just don’t draw attention.” Ben’s face was still grim, not even a hint of a smile. He leaned over Maddox, patting him down until he came up with Maddox’s knife. “This is better than nothing. Keep it handy.”
“Will do.” Maddox hated that he wasn’t going with Ben. As a sniper, he was used to long, lonely wait times, but this felt different, more exposed than the dense vegetation would suggest and far more helpless than he’d been in the last decade plus.
“I’ll be back.” Ben hesitated as if he could sense Maddox’s unease, so Maddox forced himself to smile and wave him away.
“I’ll keep a light on.”
Maddox watched him limp away, still favoring his left arm, and with a hitch to his step that Maddox hadn’t noticed on their lurch to the trees.
The jungle had returned to its usual hum of nonstop insect noise, broken up by the chirp of the monkeys and the shrieks of birds and the rustle of the wind through the leaves, and Maddox’s eyes started to drift.
No. Can’t sleep. Ben’s counting on you.
They’d get out of this mess. They had no choice but to believe that, and if there was anyone he trusted with his life, it was Ben. He could trust Ben to find a way out. After all, he’d trusted him with his secrets for years. He let his eyes drift shut, remembering the day he’d learned that Ben had figured out his biggest secret...
“Dude! We actually get to leave base.” Ben had buzzed in front of Maddox’s bunk in the barracks, bulky body almost vibrating with excitement. He was way more ripped than he’d been six months ago, biceps bulging under his T-shirt. “Where should we go tonight?”
“Go?” As usual, Maddox struggled to keep up with Ben.
“Bunch of the guys are heading out, but I figured I’d see what you wanted to do first. Oh wait, is your family in town for SEAL graduation? I forget that not everyone’s local like me.”
“No, they’re not coming.” Maddox shrugged, trying to act like it didn’t matter, like he hadn’t asked a dozen times, hadn’t sent all those unanswered letters, like he hadn’t spent the past half a year hoping that if he made it through, that it would make a difference. “But my...uh...friend came. I’m meeting him for dinner. Man, I’m so ready to eat something other than the chow hall.”
“Excellent. Bring your friend along. I know where all the good places are that won’t card us.” Ben rubbed his hands together like it was all settled but it so wasn’t. Maddox wasn’t sure he could have Ben and Grayson on the same planet, let alone the same bar.
“I...we...I’m not sure he drinks,” Maddox said lamely. “You should go with the other guys. I’ll catch up with you after.”
“Maddox. It’s okay.” Ben had never used Maddox’s first name before and he made the word sound soft and gentle. “I know. I’m not going to say a word, I promise. I just want to celebrate with you.”
“You know what?” Icy dread spiraled through Maddox. Was this a trick? This had to be a trick, the guy he was closest to from training acting like he knew the one secret Maddox kept locked up? This was the moment when Ben turned out to be no better than those bullies from high school who had tormented him and Grayson.
“About Grayson. He’s not...you’re more than friends. And it’s okay. I’m totally cool with it.”
Maddox clamped his mouth shut and said nothing. He’d heard about this happening, guys trying to bait someone into breaking Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell regulations, but he’d never thought Ben would be one of them. He’d talked about Grayson, sure, but he’d tried to keep it vague. Generic.
“You should go now,” he said at last. “Don’t want to be late for going out with the guys.”
Fuck. He tried not to think curse words, but that was really the only thing that applied here. He’d been so damn excited to land on the same team as Ben, been so sure that being around his buddy for several more years of training and deployment would be the best thing ever. And now it was the worst.
“Don’t be like this. We’re friends right?”
“Friends,” Maddox echoed dully.
“Listen. You’re going to meet my folks tomorrow at graduation. Well, my dad and his girlfriend at least. And you can ask my dad about...” Ben licked his lower lip. “Ask him why he was so nervous for me to join up, okay? I mean, preferably don’t ask him about it in front of the whole class, but he’ll tell you regardless. He’s pissed. And it’s because of DADT. Fucking DADT. We should be able to have this conversation without you looking like I’m about to throw you under a tank.”