Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 75699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
“I’m going with magic.” I nipped at his neck, savoring that strip of bare flesh under his beard. I coasted a hand lower, hovering near his cock. It would be super easy to fall into our usual mutual jerk-off or oral thing, but my neck prickled. “Since it’s Valentine’s, should we do something…special?”
“We are.” Jonas chuckled and kissed me again, long and lingering, the sort that made me happy sigh and wriggle all over again. And almost, but not quite, forget my point.
“That’s not what I meant.” I pulled back to peer down at him, trying for a serious expression. “Sex. Something new. You said fucking isn’t your favorite thing, but maybe we should try you fucking me.”
I’d been wrestling with this offer for a while now. I still wasn’t sure whether I was gay, bi, or something else, but if I was having sex with a dude, shouldn’t I be all kinds of eager to either fuck or get fucked. I’d never particularly liked penetrative sex with my female partners, so doing the fucking wasn’t high on my priority list. And Jonas said not everyone had to be a top or bottom, but I wasn’t sure I bought it. Maybe he was simply being nice.
“Do you want to try it?” Jonas predictably threw the question back at me. “Or do you feel obligated because of the date on the calendar?”
“Not exactly.” I sucked the inside of my cheek. “I just figure we should do it for real. If I’m gonna lose my gay cherry, I want it to be you.”
Instead of swooning at my declaration, Jonas groaned. “Gay cherry. Lord, save me from some archaic notion of what constitutes real sex.”
“Archaic?” I wrinkled my face, trying to simplify all his big words. “You mean I don’t have to fuck to lose my virginity?”
“Declan, you are definitely not a virgin in my book.” Jonas shook his head like he was struggling to grasp my idiocy. And that was okay. I was too. “And if you want to try fucking, I’ll go there with you and do my best to make it good for you.”
I nodded like a loose foot peg and tried like heck to look game, not super nervous. “I trust you.”
“But there’s no rule that says Valentine’s requires fucking or anything else sexual for that matter. At least for me, the holiday is about romance and connection.” Jonas wrapped me up in a hug, holding me against him in a way that never failed to make me feel like I’d discovered the best mattress on earth or the perfect relaxation exercise.
“I feel really connected to you right now.” I nuzzled his chest. “And the whole night has been weirdly romantic.”
“Weirdly?” Jonas scoffed, and I sensed another lecture about expectations brewing.
“Well, I mean, we’re two dudes.”
“And we can’t appreciate or need a little romance?” Jonas peered down the bridge of his nose at me, making me feel more than a little foolish.
“True.” Needing to hide my heated cheeks, I looked away at the crackling fireplace, which cast a warm glow on the whole room. “And I like the romantic stuff. More than I thought I would.”
“Good.” He sounded like he was trying hard not to laugh.
“I guess what I want is, like, really romantic sex. To feel even more connected. And a lot of people would say that’s what fucking is. But now I’m not so sure. Gah. I’m like the one dude in America who doesn’t jack off to fucking scenes in porn.”
“You’re hardly the only one.” Jonas did chuckle then, but it was kind, and he held me close. “Maybe it’s my nursing background or maybe just how I’m wired, but I find a lot of ass play, especially in porn, really clinical. One finger, then two, add more lube, and so on.”
“Yes. Clinical.” I exhaled, relief coursing through me at finding the right word. “Not gross or disgusting, but just not sexy. And I thought all day I’d offer to fuck, but then you said we don’t have to, and I felt relief, but I don’t want to wimp out—”
“Breathe, Declan. That’s a lot of thinking.” Jonas kissed the side of my head.
“Overthinking,” I agreed weakly.
“Drop this notion that sex with another man is an extreme sport.” He wasn’t wrong, so I had to snort-laugh at myself along with him. “We’re not out here trying to level up. How about we get back to what we’re good at?”
“Kissing?” I asked hopefully, tilting my mouth up. He obliged me with a soft kiss, one that made me shiver and smile at the same time.
“And connection.”
“Yeah, that too,” I said breathlessly as he skated his hands over my back. Huddled under the blankets together, I lost all sense of time, all my focus saved for the next kiss and the one after that. We kissed and touched, and despite having done exactly this before, the living room locale in front of the fire and under the covers made each caress feel brand-new. Special.