Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 84533 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84533 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
After that, I called Melody. I owed her for last night.
“Hey,” she answered, sounding sleepy. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m good. Maybe better than I’ve ever been.”
“And you’re staying up there…with him?”
“He’s a good man,” I snapped, feeling the need to defend him.
“Whoa. I’m not saying he’s not. I just don’t know him, and he’s never ever gotten to know anyone in town, so it surprised me that you’re suddenly moving in with him. It’s unexpected. I’ve always felt bad for him, though. I’ve tried to talk to him a few times, but he wasn’t having anything to do with me.”
I chuckled. That definitely sounded like Crow. “He came into the coffeehouse?”
“No. Not once. I don’t think he’s gone to any place like that, but I’ve seen him around. What can I do for you, though? Is there any way I can help?”
My heart swelled. She was…offering to help me? I hardly knew this woman. She’d traded numbers with me, told me more than once that she wanted to hang out, and I always denied her, yet she’d been there for us last night, and she was helping me again today. “You’re great, Melody. I didn’t give you a fair chance before, and I’m sorry for that.”
“No, you didn’t, but something tells me you’ve been hurt more times than you haven’t. Just be good to me from now on.”
God, I really liked her, and when I went down the mountain again, I wanted to hang out with her. “Deal. I’ll buy you lunch when the snow starts to melt.”
“I’ll hold you to that. Now, is there any way I can help?”
“I’m probably going to lose my apartment. I can’t afford to keep paying, but I’m not jumping the gun on that. My biggest worry is my car. It’s a piece of shit, but it’s mine. I don’t know that I can come down to sell it or store it or anything…”
“Is there a key in your apartment? I can keep your car at my place. I have room in my garage.”
I exhaled deeply. “God, you’re a lifesaver. I’m terrible at keeping track of things. I lose my keys all the time, so there’s a key hidden outside the apartment, and then there’s a car key inside.”
“Perfect.”
I told her where everything was, and then we chatted for a bit, until Melody said, “I hate to end this call, but I have an afternoon date.”
“Wow. That’s exciting.”
“Her name is Isabelle. Who knows if it will go anywhere, but I’ll keep you posted.”
I hoped she would. I wanted Melody to meet someone. “Thank you again. I appreciate your help.”
“What are friends for? Let me know if you need anything else, and…I know we talked about this before, but keep in touch. Just so I know everything is okay.”
My chest warmed that she cared. “I will, but I’ll be okay. Crow wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Good.”
We said our goodbyes, and then I sat there for hours, waiting for Crow.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Crow
I couldn’t stop painting and drawing. I hadn’t done it at all since I’d brought Cyrus home, unable to leave him alone and definitely unwilling to share this part of myself with him. When I was young, Chosen had told me that my “doodling” was a foolish endeavor, a waste of precious time. I needed to be proving myself, bettering myself, standing out from the others in The Enlightened because if The Chosen’s son wasn’t worthy, it would reflect poorly on him. So I’d always done my best to work harder, worship harder, take pain better and more often than anyone else to make him proud. It had never been enough.
I brushed my finger over where I’d drawn the arch of Cyrus’s back, as if it was the same as truly touching him. I craved his skin beneath me all the time, yearned for it in a way that was unhealthy and Chosen would have tried to beat out of me. It was okay to fuck because that’s what men did, but the need I felt for Cyrus would have been a sin because we weren’t supposed to put anyone or anything over our love and devotion to Chosen and God.
I slept with Cyrus.
My guard was always up, of course. Had he moved from beside me, I would have woken. I’d learned to stay alert because sometimes Chosen would perform drills while we slept. Chosen and his handpicked elders would sneak into our rooms, test us. Take us to the Clarity room, which was where they inflicted pain or did a mock drill of outsiders coming to attack our compound so we could show how we would defend our Chosen.
He was first. Always first.
My pulse accelerated, so I concentrated on the curve of Cyrus’s ass, the way I’d drawn his cheeks open for me to take him.
The way he gave himself to me…there was nothing like it.