Total pages in book: 45
Estimated words: 43920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 220(@200wpm)___ 176(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 43920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 220(@200wpm)___ 176(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
“No, I mean—”
“We’re closing early so Georgine can go to the thing and so we can get some cleaning and rearranging done and Luther can sage. He’s getting all the bad juju out, and there’s apparently some dreamcatchers or something he needs to hang.”
“So you’re fine with us losing sales tonight.”
“We have no live music tonight, so it’s fine. I sent Elsa and Thad out to make posters and hang them up, and as I said, I updated the website. It was fun to put Grammy award winner Dawson West and the Dregs on our Instagram and TikTok.”
I shook my head at her.
“I could have left that for you, but…you and technology? Not so much.”
“I have to go now.”
She smiled at me. “Have fun babysitting.”
“You’re mean.”
Instant squint at me. “This is new?”
“You’re just letting Luther right in to sage our entire place.”
“Not the kitchen. I already told him that.”
Throwing up my arms, I went back down the hall, only to pass Luke and Prue and Cami walking by.
“I’m coming right back,” Cami informed me.
When I reached my office, I realized that everything had been moved but the rabbit, whose cage Dawson was surveying.
“Don’t lift it. I’ll move it,” I told him.
“We could do it together,” he suggested, “so you’re not broken later.”
When I had crossed to him, he lifted his head, and I was going to say something, tell him he didn’t have to waste his night watching two kids who were basically self-sufficient and where all I had to do was eat and watch movies, but then…I caught him without his smile, with nothing but longing in his eyes.
I froze.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, sounding worried, scared.
I’d seen it, the ache, the desperation, how tight he was holding himself together. Because yes, he’d hurt me terribly. But at the moment, he was wounded, newly out of rehab, and apparently, even before he’d gone in, he was counting on being with me when he got out. And yes, he needed to be his own lifeline, but hurting him wasn’t doing anything for either of us.
“Come here.”
I heard his breath catch as he stared at me, unmoving.
“No? You don’t want to?”
He closed the space between us, and I took hold of his hand. I watched him try and stand still even as he trembled slightly.
“Maybe,” I said softly, “let’s start with being friends again.”
He nodded quickly.
“And I’ll have some faith and listen, and you can keep showing up.”
“That would be… That would be great.”
“Okay,” I murmured, and wrapped him in my arms. I didn’t think I’d ever seen anyone who needed a hug more.
He melted against me, and I felt the shudder run through him as he clutched me tight, holding on, pressing his face into my shoulder, giving me his weight.
“Friends is a good place to start,” I told him.
“It is,” he agreed, his voice cracking. “But so you know, I remember everything. Every kiss, every time you held my hand, every time you held me down, how it felt when you looked at me like I was yours.”
“Dawson…”
“I will be your friend, I will be whatever you want, but just keep in the back of your mind, all the time, every day going forward, that I wanna be more. I need to be your guy. I want my lover back. I want my home back. And I will put in the time, I will take whatever you need to give me, just don’t send me away. I can’t go away.”
He shook his head when he said that last bit, as though even contemplating leaving again was simply too much.
“You’re breaking my heart, Sonny.”
“You think I’m pathetic because I need you more than you need me.”
“No,” I said emphatically because I wanted him to hear the truth. “It’s very brave to admit what you need. I envy that.”
“And what do you need?”
“From you?”
“From life.”
“I’ll have to think about that.”
He nodded but then said, “Tell the truth. You told me I was brave, and now it’s your turn.”
“I want a partner,” I admitted, leaning back so I could see his face. “Someone to love.”
His smile was huge. “Okay. Here I am.”
I scoffed. “We tried that already.”
“We haven’t tried it when I’m all grown up and know what there is to lose.”
“So you get to screw up and you get a do-over?”
“I hope so,” he whispered, leaning back into me. “If I’m really lucky.”
I had no idea what to say.
“And if you take a chance on me, then you get the new improved model,” he boasted.
It was kind of him to banter with me, to relieve the pressure right then. Allow us both time to breathe.
“I need to go now,” Georgine yelled from down the hall. “Everybody and the rabbit, get in the car!”
“This is stupid,” I grumbled, stepping away from Dawson to squat down next to the cage. “That’s your side.”