Total pages in book: 32
Estimated words: 29210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 146(@200wpm)___ 117(@250wpm)___ 97(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 29210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 146(@200wpm)___ 117(@250wpm)___ 97(@300wpm)
I should have left her alone last night, shouldn’t have sat on the bed beside her, because it led to all this. I knew I wouldn’t have been able to control myself, but I wanted her so fucking much.
But I couldn’t say I regretted being with her, because I didn’t. I never would. It was the best thing I ever experienced in my whole fucking life, and not just because it felt incredible, but because I was finally with the woman I loved.
I’d give her a day or two to get her thoughts settled, but she wasn’t going to push me out of her life. She wasn’t going to push me away or create this wall that stopped our growth. There was too much history between us, and there was no way I was giving Leila up.
If she thought this was a mistake, that what we’d done was wrong, so be it. I could be her friend, only her friend, if that’s what she wanted. It would be painful as fuck, but I would not let Leila walk out of my life.
* * *
I found myself driving to her house before I could talk myself out of it, before I could stop myself. She was avoiding me, and I wouldn’t have that. I couldn’t. We needed to hash this out. We needed to talk about it, even if it was uncomfortable as fuck.
But I was tired of waiting around. I wanted to just work this out, bring it to the forefront of the conversation so we could move on. The longer we waited, the weirder it was going to be.
Ten minutes later, I was pulling into her driveway, thankful her roommate’s car wasn’t there. The last thing I needed was Shia hearing this and getting into our business.
I cut the engine and got out of the car, thinking maybe I should’ve called Leila first to tell her I was coming by. She wouldn’t have answered, but at least I would’ve given her a heads-up in her voicemail. But on that note, I didn’t want to spook her away, give her a reason to not be home when I showed up.
I brought my knuckles down on her front door three times and then waited. I could hear her roommate’s dog barking, one of those little Pomeranians that sounded more like a squeaky toy than an actual animal. I was about to bring my knuckles down on the door again when I heard the lock disengage.
The door was pulled open, and I could see on Leila’s expression that she’d known it was me on the other side before she even opened the door.
For a moment, neither one of us spoke. I cleared my throat and lifted my hand to run it over the back of my neck. I hated that things were like this between us.
“Hey,” I said, shifting on my feet, feeling pretty vulnerable right now, which I hated. I’d never felt this way around Leila, things so unsure and up in the air. Things had always been so comfortable.
“Hi,” she said in a soft voice and pulled the door open farther.
Her long dark hair was piled high on her head in what I knew she called a top knot. It was something she did when she just stayed at home, when she told me she was “too lazy to look presentable.” But she looked so damn gorgeous like that, whether she was dolled up or when she didn’t wear a stitch of makeup and was in baggy lounge clothes.
She was perfect.
“What are you doing here?”
“Can we talk?” I asked, and she glanced down at the floor, breaking eye contact. “You won’t answer my calls and are avoiding me like the damn plague.”
“Yeah, sorry about that.” She looked at me then. “Things are just... weird, I guess.”
I nodded slowly. “Yeah, but they don’t have to be.” The uncertainty on her face was tangible, and I just wanted to wipe it away, to bring back the girl who never questioned being around me. I cleared my throat again and asked, “Can I come in? Can we talk for a little bit?” I saw the hesitation on her face, in her body language, but she pulled the door open wider and stepped aside, letting me enter.
The AC blasting had the interior frigid. She closed the front door, and chills raced up my arms. But I knew it had nothing to do with the cold air and everything to do with whatever was about to happen in this conversation. Maybe now wasn’t the right time. Maybe I should give her longer, let her process things more at her own pace.
I felt this stronger pull to her than I ever had because of that one night of claiming her. And that’s exactly what I’d done.
I claimed Leila as mine. She just didn’t know it yet.