Total pages in book: 32
Estimated words: 29210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 146(@200wpm)___ 117(@250wpm)___ 97(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 29210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 146(@200wpm)___ 117(@250wpm)___ 97(@300wpm)
With that, I turned and laughed, my knuckles throbbing from the impact of the hit, but that pain gave me a massive sense of satisfaction and pleasure. I might have solved this one problem, or at least leveled things out, but now I had to work on fixing things with Leila.
Because that was the most important thing.
13
Several weeks later
Leila
Several weeks later
“Leila Cross.”
My heart raced as my name was called. I glanced up at the nurse who stood in the doorway, a folder in her hand, her focus on me. I gave her what was no doubt an awkward smile before standing and making my way toward her on shaky legs.
After I was weighed, my height taken, and vitals recorded, she left me in the room and told me the doctor would be in momentarily.
I looked around, seeing the posters on the wall featuring the female anatomy, a picture of a pregnant woman, and information regarding mammograms. I’d been in plenty of doctor offices before and came yearly for my annual.
This wasn’t anything new, but this definitely felt different.
This was different.
Over the last month or so, things had still been just as weird between Devon and me, and I knew it was all on my side. Although I spoke to him on the phone, couldn’t avoid him completely, totally, things were just… strange. I couldn’t get past what we’d done, how he made me feel that night.
I’d been trying to wrap my brain around all this, how I wish I could be like him and just say it was something that happened and move on. But it wasn’t like that for me. I was in love with him and couldn’t even tell him. If he could push past this so easily, blame it on the alcohol, then it was clear he didn’t feel a fraction for me what I did for him.
He loved me, I knew that, but loving someone was not the same as being in love with them.
We still communicated, but it wasn’t the same. Things were most definitely different, and I could see on his face and hear in his voice he was very aware of that reality.
And now there was this reality to deal with on top of everything.
A few minutes later, the doctor came in, sat in the chair across from me, and gave me a warm smile. I shifted on the table, the paper beneath me crinkling and seeming obscenely loud.
“So, what brings you in today?”
I knew she was aware of why I was here. The nurse had asked the same thing then typed it out in the computer. The doctor would have read that before coming in. But still, she was opening up the dialogue.
“I took a home pregnancy test and just wanted to make sure it was... accurate.” I smoothed my hands down my legs, which were covered by another piece of thin paper.
The nurse had made me get undressed from the waist down, since she said the doctor would probably want to do an exam.
“And you had a positive pregnancy test?” she asked, and I licked my lips and nodded, continuously rubbing my hands up and down my thighs, the paper that covered my lower half growing damp from my sweat. “I—I don’t know how accurate those things are. Figured I might as well come here and make sure it was… real.” I still couldn’t even wrap my brain around all this.
Me, pregnant? And on top of that, with Devon’s baby?
“I’m so out of my element here,” I whispered, not meaning to say those words out loud, but they spilled forth and now hung between the doctor and me.
I pulled my head up to see the doctor staring at me with kind eyes.
“It’ll be okay,” she said softly and gave me another warm smile. “We have resources, people you can talk to. You have options.”
I didn’t know what that meant. But despite my fear, despite the turbulent emotions moving through me, I knew one thing for certain.
I wanted to keep this baby more than anything I ever wanted in my entire life.
Even if this ruined things between Devon and me, even if we were no longer friends because of this, because of this wall, this heavy space now lodged between us, I would still keep this baby. I already loved this baby.
I placed my hand on my belly before I could stop myself, this tiny life growing inside me, the one who was half of the man I loved.
“When was your last menstrual cycle?”
I looked down at the ground and thought. I was awful at keeping track, and as I started to do a mental countdown, thinking back to when I had it last, I finally lifted my gaze to her.
“I’m not sure. My periods have always been so irregular. I’m about two weeks late, though.” There was a pause. “Maybe six weeks ago?” She started typing in her computer, but there was no judgment in the way she looked at me.