Total pages in book: 104
Estimated words: 98134 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98134 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
“Really,” he says. “Me and you.”
“Jesse?” I ask.
“Yeah?”
“You’re not having doubts about ending things with Sarah, are you? Is that why you’ve been distant? You’re thinking about whether you want to go back to her and don’t want to hurt my feelings?” So much for not being needy. But I also don’t want to have doubts. I want it all in the open. I want honesty between us, even if it means asking uncomfortably blunt questions.
“No,” he says quickly. He cups my face in both of his hands, which are somehow warm despite the cold in the night air. “No,” he says again, more softly this time. “I think… Sarah was the easy out, maybe. She was the door that I hadn’t figured out how to completely close. It wasn’t that I wanted to go back to her. It was that I kept thinking of what happened as a mistake I’d made–like something good I’d screwed up and lost. But none of that is why I’ve been distant.”
I wait, because I feel like whatever he’s about to say is going to shatter me into a million, happy little pieces.
“The time we’ve spent together made me see her differently. You’ve been showing me what it’s like when it’s good. Really good.” He shakes his head, chuckling to himself as he looks off into the trees and moonlit, snowy hills below the balcony. “It’s like if you only ever ate chocolate that tasted bitter and stale. Everybody else says it’s amazing, so you kind of convince yourself that it’s not so bad. Maybe you have to force it, but you can kind of see what they’re talking about if you squint real hard. And then you came along.”
I put my hands over my heart, melting on the inside. “Jesse Prince. Are you about to tell me I’m your first bite of sweet chocolate? Because that is so romantic.”
He laughs. “Something like that.”
I hug him tight. “I’m the high calorie treat you are trying not to over-indulge in. That is so tragic.”
“You may be taking the metaphor a bit too far,” he says, humor lacing his words. “I just… I’ve seen what all the fuss is about since I met you. And closing that door on Sarah made me finally come face to face with some important questions. Questions about where I want to go from here. I needed time to think, maybe.”
“What did you decide?” I ask, pulling back enough to look up at him.
“To take you on a nice dinner date. Not tomorrow, because the guys have a game and I want to be there. But we’ll go the night after.”
I grin. “That is an evasive answer.”
“Yes, it is,” he agrees.
I go back to hugging him. Partly, it’s because he’s warm and I’m cold, even with the big jacket. But mostly, it’s because his words have filled me with something that feels an awful lot like hope. Hope for us. Hope for my future. Hope for everything.
It’s an amazing feeling, so I close my eyes and listen to the muffled sound of laughter and music from inside the cabin behind us. I think about the sparkling lights all over and the soft snow making the night so supernaturally quiet. I think about maybe, just maybe not going back to New York when all this is over.
I squeeze him a little tighter and smile.
34
JESSE
I find Andi in her guest house that night when everyone else has left or gone to sleep. I let myself in. “You should really lock this door,” I say once I step inside the darkened room. Only the bathroom light is on and I can see her shadow being cast through the doorway from inside.
“Are you worried a squirrel or a bear is going to turn the knob and come get me? I feel pretty safe with all these big tough hockey guys right next door. Besides, someone once told me they don’t even lock their window because this cabin is so far out and there’s no reason to fear an intruder.”
“I’d feel better if I knew you had it locked. And that someone locks his windows now. Princess’s orders, remember?”
“But then how would you sneak in to seduce me at night if I lock up?” She peeks out from around the door frame, eyes twinkling with mischief. “That is why you’re here, isn’t it?”
“That depends.” I move closer to the bathroom. My heart is pounding because I wasn’t sure how this would go. It has been far, far too long since I had my hands on her. I wasn’t sure if our conversation brought us right back to where we were, or if I had some making up to do before she’d flirt so openly with me again. “Do you require seduction? Or can I just walk in here and demand that you get in the bed, undress, and let me fuck you.”