Total pages in book: 104
Estimated words: 98134 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98134 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
“Andi?” he says as I drain the water.
“Yeah?” I ask.
He opens his mouth, then closes it, swallowing and wincing like he’s in pain. “I’m sorry about your head. I hope it’s better in the morning.”
“Oh, yeah. Thanks.”
I climb into my bed alone, pull the covers up to my chin, and let out a shuddering breath. I lay there, replaying the night and wondering if there was any magical combination of words I could’ve uttered to keep things from going the way they went. What if I had just been more honest? What if I sat down and told him the job sounded great, but I’ve never been the kind of girl who dreams about a career? I could’ve told him my real dream has always been finding the right person and figuring the rest out once I had that in my pocket.
But I didn’t. I didn’t say it because I was too scared of how he might look at me.
I squeeze my eyes shut and let sleep come, hoping everything will feel more clear in the morning.
37
JESSE
I’ve got to find a way to end things. The Frostival Finale is in two days. Christmas is in three. When we’re in the cabin and around the guys, Andi and I have both formed some kind of unspoken agreement to pretend everything is normal. We smile, we laugh, and we even do the small gestures that normal couples do when they’re freshly in love. A touch on the arm, a hand on the small of my back, and a lingering glance when we think nobody’s looking.
In those moments, I can almost pretend it doesn’t feel like a seismic crack has formed between us. I haven’t slept with her since before our dinner date. We’ve hardly talked in private, except for the few conversations we’ve shared on our drives into town in the mornings to go help my sister.
Mostly, Caroline sets Andi to work and sends me off to run this errand or that.
Today, I’m waiting in a chair by the fire while Caroline explains what Andi needs to tell the fireworks guys. She’s supposed to make some call and confirm details with the pyrotechnic who is driving out for the fireworks show at the finale. A staffing issue turned it into a headache and Caroline is passing the problem on to Andi.
Caroline already served up breakfast for her guests, who mostly make their way into town by this point in the morning.
I pass the time by watching Andi when she hopefully doesn’t catch me looking. Caroline wanted me to do something today, but I can’t remember what it was, so I’m just hanging around until she realizes I’m idle and starts scolding me.
Andi has on a big green and white sweater with little ringing bells dangling from her ears. Her hair is loose around her shoulders, so dark it’s almost black. She tucks it behind her ear as she talks on the phone, giving me a view of her perfect profile. I stare at her and think about how it felt just days ago to pull her close to me and wonder if I was really going to try to make her mine.
Now, those memories are nothing but salt in a fresh wound. When I look back on the last couple weeks, I can’t put my finger on the exact moment things went wrong. I wonder if she can–if there was some deciding moment where I proved I wasn’t long-term material. Or maybe it was me who decided I wasn’t ready to commit and pushed her away.
Whatever the case, there’s a new distance between us that wasn’t there before. I still feel the same pull towards her, but for the first time, it’s like we’ve taken large steps away from each other. One more step, and I can imagine the pull of that gravity snapping under tension, spinning us both out of orbit.
Caroline walks up to my chair and kicks my shoe, which is resting on the coffee table. “Hey,” she says. “Where are your lazy teammates? They told me they were going to come help today.”
I squint. “They did?”
She plants her hands on her hips. “Final set up for the Frostival Finale? Decorations all over the harbor? Putting together a stage for the DJ? Is any of this ringing a bell in that big head of yours?” She flicks my forehead for emphasis.
I rub the spot, glaring at her. “Okay. Yeah, it sounds vaguely familiar. I don’t remember you saying you asked the guys to help.”
“Well, I did. And I told them to show up first thing in the morning. It’s…” She glances at her phone and shakes her head. “Almost ten. Don’t you guys wake up early to train? How are they this unreliable?”
“Maybe they went straight to the harbor and got started without you.”