Total pages in book: 104
Estimated words: 98134 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98134 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Meemee mouths “please” and squeezes her small hands together like she’s praying.
“You needed a last minute babysitter and you came down to the harbor to find me? Did Caroline tell you where I was?”
Mikey hesitates. He’s hiding something. I can’t say what, or why, though. “We were in town and saw you headed this way. Figured you were coming to do some set up, or something.”
I nod. “Um, well, yeah. I can’t really say ‘no’ to watching the little guys.” I was hoping to leave town soon, but I’d be sad to leave without spending a little more time with these kids, anyway.
Meemee cheers. “Yay!”
Cade looks happy, but he’s too cool to do anything overt like cheering, so he just stands there, fighting his smile.
“You’re a lifesaver, Andi. Thanks.”
A few minutes later, Meemee is licking a strawberry flavored icee I whipped her up from the concession stand and Cade is showing me the progress he’s made on his hockey moves. He’s skating around with his stick and puck, showing off his puck-handling skills.
“Wow,” I say, clapping. “That is amazing, Cade. Have you shown Jesse yet? He’d be really impressed.” As soon as I say the words, I feel the now-familiar pang of pain his name brings.
Jesse is the elephant in the room. I have to try my hardest not to really think about what I’m doing if I’m going to go through with it. I know I want to leave Frosty Harbor if Jesse doesn’t want what I want. I know it, because the alternative is too sad and pathetic.
I’ve imagined myself lingering here through the holidays. I would continue working for Caroline until I could afford my own place. I’d move out to some small, broken down but charming place outside town. Little by little, I’d carve my place into Frosty Harbor as a local. And little by little, Jesse would get bored. He’d eventually tell me it’s time for the part we agreed on before this ever started. Things had gone on too long and we need to split.
And then what?
I’d be the local who wasn’t really a local. The girl who lived outside town with no family, no steady job, no purpose. I’d live on the outskirts of town and Jesse’s life, like some poor homeless kid on Christmas looking in through a frosted window at the life I wished I had–the one I got to taste for a few heartbeats.
Nope. Way too pathetic.
So I’m leaving. It’s the reasonable thing to do. In order to be reasonable, I’ve just got to make it a little longer without thinking too hard about Jesse. I know it was cruel of me to say all that to Caroline without looking Jesse in the eyes back at the bed and breakfast, but I was afraid I’d break down and lose my nerve if I did. I can call him once I’m safely outside of town and try to properly explain everything.
Once I’m done running away again.
The thought rings in my brain with a sour, depressing note. When did I become the girl who runs away from everything?
“I’m gonna skate with Ellis,” Meemee says. Her mouth and tongue are stained red from the icee. “Daddy says I have to use the twelve inch rule if we dance.” She smiles mischievously. “I don’t know how big twelve inches is.”
I laugh. “Easy, tiger. You have your whole life to chase boys. I’m sure this Ellis guy is great, but–”
“Yup,” Meemee says. “He’s the fastest kid on the playground. He chases me every day. He says he loves me. He can burp half the alphabet and he can do an arm fart in his knee pit.”
“Wouldn’t that be a knee fart?” I ask.
“Nope,” Meemee says matter-of-factly.
I shrug and bite back a smile. “He sounds absolutely amazing.”
She nods like I just said “water is wet”.
“Well, this is twelve inches,” I say, holding my hands roughly a foot apart. “You should stick to your dad’s rule or this Ellis guy is going to get the wrong idea.”
“Ellis always has the wrong idea. Miss Janice asked us what our good news was for the day and he said he had no clean underwear so his mommy told him to figure it out.” She laughs adorably, crinkling her nose. “That’s not good news. That’s just dirty pants!”
I grin. “No. It’s definitely not good news.”
“Do you like Mr. Jesse? Daddy says he makes googly eyes at you. Googly eyes are where your eyes roll all around your head like this.” She lets her mouth go slack and wobbles her head around, eyes crossing, uncrossing, and rolling back.
“Oh, yeah. That’s exactly how I look at him.”
She wiggles her eyebrows. “Knew it. You gonna marry him?”
“I don’t think so. Grown ups are complicated. Sometimes it takes more than just liking someone.”
“Like what?”
“Well, people have responsibilities. Duty.”