Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
Without a word, he took it, shoving the bills into his pocket. “See you Friday,” Sam said, and walked out.
I went to the window, watching until his truck disappeared down the driveway, and then I was alone again.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Sam
“Sammy, you need to work on helping get your mama out of the house.” Aunt Sherry had her back to me while she flipped the chicken she was frying in a skillet. It was Tuesday evening. She’d invited me and Mama over for dinner, but Mom had said she didn’t feel well. I’d spent the last two days trying to talk her into coming, but she wouldn’t budge.
“You don’t think I try? She’s stubborn as a mule. I begged her to come out with me, but I can’t force her. She’s a grown woman.” It was a lot of pressure to be responsible for her. Sherry tried sometimes, but more often than not, she just pushed the responsibility on me and made me feel like shit when I failed. “She’s embarrassed. You know she always gets this way after one of her incidents. She hates lettin’ me down, hates that people saw her that way. She knows they’re all talkin’ about her. It takes her a bit before she can handle it again.” Sherry knew this. I shouldn’t have to tell her that.
“I didn’t ask her to come to town. I asked her to come to my house. It don’t make no sense why she can’t come here.”
“Because it’s even worse when it’s you and me. She loves us more than anyone in the world. We’re the two people she hates lettin’ down the most. She has to see me because I live with her. The same ain’t true with you.”
“If she hates disappointing us, she needs to stop doing it. She—” Aunt Sherry turned to me, saw my hand held up, and stopped talking.
“I can’t do this right now, all right?” Didn’t she see how much pressure I was under? How much it killed me to try my best by her and to feel like I was alone in doing it? For my aunt to point out all the ways I was letting my mama down? “I’m doing the best I can. She’s not drinkin’ right now. Isn’t that enough?”
“That you know of. She said you’ve been sleeping over at Molly’s every weekend. Even when Molly is at the diner. How do you know what she’s doing while you’re gone?”
Her words were a kick to the gut. “Am I not allowed to have a life too? Do I gotta stay at home for the rest of my life to make sure she’s okay?”
I looked away, guilt weighing heavily on my shoulders. It was already there, of course. Been there before Sherry said what she did, but she’d added another ton to what followed me around.
“Shit. You know I didn’t mean that, Sammy Joe. Course you deserve a life and you’re doing a good job. And Molly’s a good choice. That girl loves you, and she’s good to your mama. She’ll help you take care of her.” She walked over and squeezed my hand. Her smile said she thought she was being helpful, but all I could think was that she assumed I’d take care of her forever. That me and Molly would get married, and then Molly would spend the rest of her life helping Mama too, because there was no doubt it’s where I would be.
I didn’t reply right away. I simply didn’t know how. Before I could sort out the words, the kitchen screen door opened and my cousin Jasper came in. “Smells good in here. Oh, hey, Sammy. How’s it going?”
Jasper had a house on my aunt and uncle’s land. Sutton, Jasper’s best friend for his whole damn life, came in right behind him. The two of them were two pigs in a blanket, always together. They worked together, were roommates too. Sutton was Jasper’s Molly without all the fake dating stuff.
“Hey, Sammy,” Sutton greeted me. “Smells good in here.”
I laughed, realizing the two of them had said the same thing only in a different order. Jasper tried to scoop his fingers through the pan of mashed potatoes, but Aunt Sherry smacked his hand away. “Get your grubby paws out of my food. You wash your hands and wait until you sit at the table with the rest of us.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Jasper replied.
“Haven’t seen you in a while. What ya been up to?” Sutton asked while he waited for Jasper to wash his hands.
“Just busy with work and Molls, is all. You?”
The conversation shifted then. Uncle Bob arrived. We all cleaned up and sat at the table together for Sherry’s famous fried chicken. Everyone was laughing and talking. I added my two cents, keeping up the facade, but I was just…sad. Sad Mama wasn’t there, feeling like I was letting her down, wondering what Emerson was doing…