Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
Because somehow, Emerson loved me.
He was waiting for me.
To tell Mama…
To tell Molly…
On Thursday, I went into the diner with Molly after work. I’d spent last night at Em’s, and tonight I was going to talk to her, to tell her Emerson and I were leaving together. My palms were already sweaty, and my heart had been thudding all day long.
I wanted to be there with both Molly and Emerson. Wanted us to grab food and go back to Molls’s house for dinner. For us to laugh and talk the way couples did with their friends, and then for Emerson and me to get to go home together.
But whispers about Emerson were still spreading like wildfire, even within the few minutes Molly and I were at Iris’s to grab our food.
As Molly drove to her place, I leaned my forehead against the window, watching the town go by. Ryland was my home. It was all I’d ever known. It had raised me and loved me, while in other ways it had smothered me and maybe one day would kill me. How it could be both, I didn’t know, but then, I guess most things in life were shades of gray. Nothing was ever really black or white the way people liked to believe.
“He didn’t do it,” I whispered, needing so much for her to trust me, to believe me. “You don’t know him, Molls…not like I do.”
She was quiet for a moment, making my world start to fade in and out, but then she finally said, “No, I don’t know him, but I do know you, and if you tell me he didn’t do it, I believe you. You’re too good a man to love someone capable of that.”
My gaze snapped to hers. She looked over and smiled at me before reaching and grabbing my hand. I twined our fingers, soaking up a lifetime of love and friendship from the person who had my back more times than I could ever repay her for.
“I guess I’ll get to know him when I come and visit you wherever the two of you go,” she added.
My hold on her hand tightened. I wondered if she could feel the beat of my heart thudding in it. “How’d you know?”
“Because I can’t imagine he would want to stay here, and I just wanted to believe that for once in your life, you’d put yourself first. You deserve that, Sammy Joe Saunders. Tell me you know it.”
I didn’t know it at all. “My mama—”
“Is a grown-ass woman. She’s sick, yeah, and it’s not her fault, but it is her responsibility. You can’t fix her. You can’t make her change. All you’ll do is kill yourself in the process, and I’m tired of watching that happen.”
She pulled into her driveway, and I looked at the house where I always figured I would end up living with her one day. Molly and I pretending forever because there wasn’t a chance I’d leave, and how would I ever meet someone in Ryland? I would have missed sex and passion, but I used to think I’d be okay with just my best friend. Having Em showed me I wouldn’t. “I want you to be happy too.”
She frowned. “I am. I have a job I love. Don’t matter to me that it’s just waitressing. I enjoy it. I have my family, and I love spending time with Marsha. I have my movies, my TV shows, my books, and I started taking some online classes at a college. Not sure what for, really; just standard classes for now. Maybe I’ll do something with it, maybe I won’t, but I want to learn more about everything. I have my garden and my house to fix up. Those are the things that make me happy, Sammy. Everyone’s happily ever after is different, and mine just doesn’t require the same intimacy that others’ does. Friendships and family, yes, but not the rest of it. I’m okay with that.”
“Classes?”
“You’ve been busy,” she replied. “And you should be.”
“I love you.”
Molly smiled. “I love you too, but I want you to promise me something.” I nodded, and she continued, “That you’ll go. That you won’t change your mind or let your guilt hold you back. You deserve to see what’s out there. It might lead you back to Ryland or it might not, but you should make that decision for yourself, after exploring your options.”
“I promise.”
“Guess it’s time to start telling people we broke up,” she said, and we both laughed.
“Yeah, I guess it is.”
I raised her hand to my mouth and kissed it, before letting her go. We went inside and had dinner, then sat down together to watch Legends of the Fall, our favorite movie.
Me: I told Molly.
Emerson: Did she take it okay?
Me: Yeah, she already knew, actually. She made me promise to go, said she’ll come see us and get to know you for real.