Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
All courage and conviction, Sam reached over and grabbed my hand.
“Sammy?” his aunt said, looking at us and then at Molly.
“You’re a queer?” fell out of Jasper’s mouth. “What about Molly?”
Molly said, “Nothing about Sam has changed, and he’s never lied to me. He pretended to be my boyfriend because it was best for both of us.”
Bob cursed. We were lucky there was no one else in the waiting room, but I didn’t know how long that would last.
“I’m gay. Always have been, always will be. I love Emerson and don’t care whether you accept it or not. Right now I’m just glad he’s here with me…because I need him. I’m worried about Mama and I need him.”
Sam turned to me again, and I wrapped my arms around him, kissed the top of his head, told him I loved him, that it would be okay.
Molly squeezed his shoulder before she went to sit down. The other four dispersed too.
I looked up to find Sutton watching us.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Sam
I pulled Em to a chair in the corner, away from everyone else in my family. I needed to be close to him, to talk to him without others around, but I didn’t want to go far in case they came out with news about my mom.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” I said, in unison with his, “I’m sorry for showing up like this.” We chuckled softly.
I leaned into him, and Emerson let me. His arm wrapped around me, pulling me home against him. He smelled like the house, the open air on his property, and that light hint of cologne he wore. I took comfort in that, in him, because I’d had to be strong before Emerson showed up. I hadn’t had anyone to hold me up.
“How is your mom?” he asked into my hair.
“She’s okay. She’s in surgery right now.”
“You didn’t have to do that, come out to your family. I never meant to push you into that. It should always be something everyone does in their own time.”
“It was,” I replied, and it had been. “Maybe it wasn’t something I planned for this morning, but when ya got here, when I saw you, everything clicked into place and I realized it don’t matter if people know who I love. Or actually, it does matter. I want everyone to know. I’m not ashamed of you or who I am.” I hoped that didn’t sound silly, that it made sense, but when I felt Emerson smile into my hair, I knew it was the right thing. “I felt that. Is it weird?”
“No.” He rubbed his hand up and down my arm.
“I’m scared.”
“I know.”
“She could have died.” I closed my eyes, let that truth sink in.
“But she didn’t.”
But she could have. I didn’t know how to deal with that, how I couldn’t do everything in my power not to let that happen. “Next time—”
“Isn’t today, Sam. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
We. I liked the sound of that. Aunt Sherry had tried to help with Mama, and Molly had too, but it had never felt like a we the way it did when Emerson said it. I’d never been a unit with someone. “But…”
“Shh. Later. What matters right now is your mom, but I want you to know, I’m not going anywhere without you.”
I stilled, unable to believe what I’d just heard. Emerson was choosing me. He was putting me first. No matter what it meant to stay in Ryland, he was telling me he would stay with me, and no one had ever done that for me. No one had put my needs before their own. How could this man have ever thought he was selfish? He had the biggest heart of anyone I knew.
“Hey, Em?”
“Yeah?”
“We’re not socks, but I think we make a great pair.”
He chuckled. “Dork.”
“That wasn’t a good one? I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together.”
“You went from bad to worse. Actually…just worse and worse. That’s not your best material.”
We were trying to pretend everything was normal. That I might not have to stay, and Mama wasn’t in surgery. Or that if he stayed, he wouldn’t have to deal with people like Uncle Bob, or worse. I appreciated him for it, but we both knew what this was. “Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?” Emerson replied.
“Eyesore.”
“Eyesore who?”
“Eyesore do love you,” I replied, then continued before he could speak, “knock, knock.”
“Who’s there now?”
“Frank.”
“Frank who?” Emerson asked.
“Frank you for loving me.”
“I think those might be my two favorite jokes you’ve ever told me.”
Yeah, I thought they might be my favorites too.
I shot away from Emerson and to my feet when the door to the waiting room opened. “Mr. Saunders?” the nurse asked.
“Me. Yeah, that’s me. How’s she doin’?” I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans as I walked toward her. Em was right there with me, and I took his hand in mine.