Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 76396 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76396 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
“You’re all I’ve got, Slater,” he murmurs.
“Know that, little brother. I’ve got you, you hear?”
He nods.
I let him go.
And then I turn and walk out.
I don’t know how the fuck we’re goin’ to pull this off, but I do know we have to.
One way or another, I have to make this work.
I have to fix this.
~6~
NOW – ELLIE
Pain bursts through my temple, and I clench my eyes shut. I wish he’d stop hurting me. I wish this monster would just let me be. He knows I’ll obey him. He knows I’ll do anything he asks. He knows because he’s abused me so many times I’m broken before him, on my knees and yet he still continues to hurt me. My mind is a foggy mess, a haze I can’t seem to lift myself out from. All I can see in my mind is a swirl of him. Him and only him.
I know I’ve been drugged.
Hell, I don’t even know my own name anymore.
My mind is ruined.
He calls me Raven, so I guess that must be it. Though something inside me tells me it isn’t.
“Are you listening to me now, sweet Raven?”
His voice is soft, gentle even.
It’s the kind of voice you’d trust, hell, people do trust him, it’s why he’s so good at what he does.
He’s a man of God, or so he tells everyone.
But down here, in this basement below the church, he is a man of pure evil.
But his voice is tricky, it’s a voice you’d believe in, if you went to him for help.
He’s as smart as he is evil.
“I’m always listening, Master,” I whisper, my fingers trembling.
I still don’t know why he wants me, or what he plans on doing with me. I’ve been here two years, and I still don’t know exactly what he wants.
He tells me he owns me, and that I’ll be whatever he needs me to be.
Some days, I don’t see him, others, he’s here every day tormenting me.
On the rare occasion, he’s nice, like a god damned trick.
“You’re going to wear your hair in a braid to the side from now on, do you understand?”
I nod.
“And you’ll call me Paul.”
“Is that your name, Master?”
A hard slap across my face. “Do not ever ask me questions, child. Not now. Not ever. You know this.”
I wince, and close my eyes.
His hands cups my face. “Sometimes, sometimes, I swear you want me to hurt you. Do you want me to hurt you, dear Raven?”
“No Master.”
“Paul.”
“No Paul.”
“Then do as you’re told.”
I run the brush through my hair, staring in the mirror. I had it over one shoulder, ready to braid, almost out of habit. Now I’m frantically running the brush through it to smooth it out evenly down my back. Not to one side. Never to one side. How can I remember his torment so clearly? So damned clearly?
But nothing else.
Frustration bubbles in my chest, and I stare at myself, I just stare.
I want a life. A world that doesn’t live in the grips of that monster. I want fun, and laughter, and adventure.
I want love.
But if I can’t remember, if I can’t let go of the chains around me, I’ll never have any of those things.
If I don’t stop living in fear, I’ll never free myself.
“Hi there.”
I glance over my shoulder and see Erin standing in the door way, looking gorgeous. She’s wearing a pair of dark wash jeans and an emerald tank. Her gorgeous locks are down flowing around her shoulders, and her eyes are sparkling beneath the gentle layer of mascara she’s wearing. She’s breathtaking.
Some man will be lucky to have her someday.
“Hey,” I smile, meeting her eyes in the mirror.
“You look worried, we don’t have to go if you don’t want.”
“It’s not that,” I admit. “It’s...well, do you think maybe it’s time to see a doctor about my memory loss?”
She glances at me, her eyes wide. It was mentioned back at the start, by both the police and my therapist, but I refused, terrified of what I’d remember, that maybe I’d safely locked away all the bad. I just wanted to leave it all behind me, and move forward, and without my consent, it couldn’t be forced upon me.
But then I met Slater, and his brothers, and part of me wants to know more. A huge part of me needs to know my story, to understand it, to know those pieces of myself that I’ve lost.
“You want to see a doctor?” Erin asks, still sounding rather surprised.
“Yes, I think I do. Maybe there is nothing they can do, but what if there is? Those people, they look at me like I truly matter to them. If that’s the case, I want to know why, I want to remember, I want to make clear decisions.”
Erin nods. “That’s a wonderful idea, and I’ll be with you every step of the way, but honey, have you considered how you might feel if they tell you the memory loss is permanent?”