Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 76396 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76396 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
The look on her face, nearly brings me to my knees.
“I was right,” she whispers, “all along I was right. You’ve found someone else, haven’t you?”
I stare at her, and I hate, fuckin’ hate, fuckin’ despise, the words that come out of my mouth next. “Yeah, I’ve met someone else.”
I want to rip my own voice box out. I want to claw my fuckin’ eyes out so I don’t have to see the pain on her face, the unmasked pain and horror, the way all the color drains from her cheeks, the way her voice breaks when she says, “Slater, I love you. I don’t...”
“Please,” I say, my voice wavering. “Please, just leave, Ellie. This isn’t going to work. You’re better off without me.”
“Slater...”
“Get out, fuck, please. It’s over. It’s finished.”
“Don’t do this,” she cries, and her voice finally cracks, and tears roll down her cheeks.
I’m goin’ to be sick.
Fuck.
What have I done.
What am I doing?
I’m an idiot. A stupid fuckin’ idiot.
“You need to leave,” I grind out, trying to fight back my own tears.
“You want to be with someone else?”
“Yes.”
“Slater...please...can we just...I don’t, I don’t believe you...”
“Get out!” I bark. “Fuck. It’s over. Get out, Ellie. Leave!”
She makes a pained cry, and clutches her chest. Then, with one last ragged sob, she turns and runs out the door. Only when I hear the front door slam, do I drop to my knees, grip my hair, and fuckin’ cry. Man or not, it feels like my heart is being torn from my chest. What I just did to her, she’ll never recover from. Even if by some small miracle, I sort out this mess I’m in, and try to fix it, I’ll never be able to fix that.
But it’s for the best.
I’m all kinds of broken, and I’ve complicated my life to the point of no return.
She doesn’t deserve to be held back because of me. She’ll be okay. She’ll fall in love again. She’s young, and strong.
But me, I’m fuckin’ broken, and damaged, and no good.
She’s better off without me.
But the thought of not touching her again, kissing her again, hearing her sweet laughter - makes me want to die. It makes me want to give everything away, and just give up. Because I don’t know what my life is like without her.
I almost can’t live with it.
But, I will. In the hopes that maybe, down the road, there might be a chance.
But right now, it isn’t worth the risk of having something happen to her.
If she isn’t connected to me, she can’t get hurt.
Right?
~17~
NOW – ELLIE
“Ballsy,” Malakai murmurs.
We’re sitting at the clubhouse. After returning to the bakery, they decided I’d be safer at the club, where there is heaps of protection. So, we loaded up, they called Slater, and we all went to the compound. I feel safer here, but I’m starting to think Paul is going to go to any lengths to get to me, no matter the cost.
It feels weird calling him by a name. Even though it’s highly likely that isn’t actually his name.
“Fuckin’ ballsy alright, going into a café and sitting down with her. Anything could have happened,” Maverick mutters.
“He threatened to shoot the entire café up if you didn’t go with him,” Malakai continues, “How come you didn’t believe him?”
I shrug, still shaken up, eyes on the door just waiting for Slater to come in. I keep wondering how I’m going to face him. I focus back on Malakai. “He’s smart. I knew he wouldn’t want his face all over the news, then he’d never get hold of me, and he’d never get away with it. He isn’t going to risk everything, not in that way. I knew that. So, I made a call. It was the right one.”
“Fuckin’ oath it was,” Mason nods. “Took guts to take that risk, but we’re glad you did.”
“Lincoln is going in to see Shania, he’s goin’ to ask if we can have footage. If we can get a clear picture of his face, it’s goin’ to make things a shit load easier for all of us,” Maverick adds.
“Have you been able to find anything yet?” I ask, hopefully.
“Not yet. There isn’t anyone by the name of Paul, or Riley, in any of the churches we’ve looked up. Makes me think those names are not legitimate. Which we already knew, I suppose. It’s very hard to get a close on something, when we know nothing about it.”
I nod, “I knew it would be hard, I guess now, we just have to wait for him to stuff up...”
“That’s actually not a bad idea,” Koda says, rubbing his chin.
“What?” Malakai asks.
“Instead of waiting for him to stuff up, what if we set it up for him to stuff up. Might make quick work of getting our hands on him.”
“Never goin’ to happen.”