Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 96957 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96957 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Livy called them moments.
“Moments …” Livy (because she was forever my Livy) said as she breastfed our son and drank tea in a lounge chair under a palm tree as the sun set.
“What moment this time?” I asked, carving an odd figure out of a piece of driftwood.
“This one. I like it, but it’s incomplete. It’s bittersweet. It’s everything, but with an asterisk. Your mom has a grandson, so does my dad. One they will never see.”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?” she parroted.
“Your dad doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would really let his daughter go forever.”
“What are you saying?”
I offered another shrug, focusing on what looked like a dolphin taking shape. Or a wood turd. “I’m saying … I think your dad isn’t ready to let me win quite yet.” I squinted one eye and gave her a quick glance.
Hope.
Hope did a lot of things. In that moment, it breathed life into my wife. It gave her back her most genuine smile. Hope came with no promises. It offered no solutions. It fought the good fight and knew when to let go. And I knew the most likely scenario was that she would never see her father again. But life was too fucking short to lose hope.
She stretched her leg out and dug her toe into my side until I grinned, keeping my head down and focusing on her birthday present taking shape. “I love you.”
I set the knife and wood down. Then I grabbed her foot and kissed my way up her leg, over her soft belly, stopping to kiss Wylder on the cheek before continuing up her neck and to her ear.
“I love you back.”
*
Livy
After putting nine-month-old Wylder to bed, I peeked out the window at my husband sitting in the sand next to Jericho, gazing into the dark night and endless miles of ocean. He did it every night. I never asked why or what he thought about. His dark, mysterious side is what first drew me to him, so I let him have his moments, his time alone.
Retrieving a piece of paper and pen from the kitchen drawer, I sat at the table and wrote him a note.
What did you think of me the first day in class?
When did you know you loved me?
How often do you think about your mom?
Do you really think I’ll see my dad again in this lifetime?
What went through your mind when you saw me after five years apart?
When should we give Wylder a sibling?
Do you have a stick of gum?
XO Your Livy always
I left the note by the door and retired to the bathroom for a soak in my tub. After I shaved and shampooed, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Minutes later, something hit the top of my head. After a quick glance around and no signs of anyone, I spotted a paper airplane on the floor next to the tub. Stretching my arm over the edge, I nabbed it and unfolded it—my note to him.
What did you think of me the first day in class?
I thought you were pesky.
When did you know you loved me?
The morning after my gunshot wound.
How often do you think about your mom?
Several times a day.
Do you really think I’ll see my dad again in this lifetime?
Yes.
What went through your mind when you saw me after five years apart?
It hurt like hell. Worst fucking pain of my life. I thought death would have been better.
When should we give Wylder a sibling?
When you’re done reading this.
Do you have a stick of gum?
Of course.
XO Your Livy always Your world—always.
My mom used to say goals are the future we’ll never have, dreams are the future we’re too afraid to have, and reality is what you never could have imagined.
Before I saw him, I smelled peppermint.
“Pesky? Really?”
Wylder chuckled, ripping a piece of gum in two and sliding half into my mouth before shoving the other half into his mouth and shrugging off his shirt. “Like a fly.”
I grinned, holding my words while so many thoughts swirled in my head. He slid off his jeans, leaving him in nothing but his boxer briefs as he leaned against the vanity and crossed his arms over his chest. My love for him ran to the center of the earth and infinitely into space; it never failed to bring tears to my eyes.
My lover.
My protector.
My world.
My monster …
“I wasn’t chasing you, in spite of what your ego thought.” The corner of my mouth twitched. “I liked the unknown, the mystery, the enigma that was you and your dog on campus. I wanted to know why you chose to live in a haunted house. Your asshole attitude wasn’t an attraction. It was a small speed bump.”
“Wow …” His eyes widened. “I say pesky and your comeback is all of that?”
Still … after all that time, I couldn’t let him win. I pulled the drain and stood, blotting my wet body with a towel as his appreciative gaze caressed me.