Total pages in book: 197
Estimated words: 199143 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 996(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199143 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 996(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
That was the only indication this place was something different than it appeared on the surface. Specifically, the institution handled teenagers from thirteen to eighteen—on their eighteenth birthday, if still here, they were transferred to a different institutions with adults—dealing with mental illness.
Those illnesses ranged from behavior, eating, and other disorders, not limiting it to just that, they also handled cases like Penny.
“Why are you here?”
Roz jumped a bit at the question, surprised the teenager had even spoken to her at all. She came to visit three times in the last week, and each time, Penny said nothing. Each time, she sat in this same window, stared out the window, and stayed silent.
She wasn’t willing to give up, though.
“And where is your shadow?” Penny asked when Roz didn’t answer her right away.
“My shadow?”
“Tall guy,” Penny said, “dark hair, never leaves your side when you’re here, and glared at a guy when he checked you out.”
Roz blinked.
Had Naz done that?
Because only Naz had come with Roz to visit Penny, although he stayed back as to not intrude on their conversation ... or rather, the total fucking lack of it, for the most part.
“Naz ... he’s my boyfriend,” Roz said. “And he thought maybe it would help if he didn’t shadow me, as you might say. Because maybe he was making you uncomfortable.”
Penny made a face, and looked back to the window. It struck Roz, then, how childlike Penny seemed in a lot of ways. She was small featured, and small-bodied. With her hand propped up to use it as a rest for her chin while she stared out the window, she almost seemed like a little girl. Put her in a white dress, and wipe the red lipstick stain from her lips, and she could probably pass for a twelve-year-old.
It was disconcerting.
“He doesn’t bother me,” Penny said, “I can tell when they’re ... bad. I see it in them. There’s a way they look at you. They’re all the same, you know.”
“I don’t, actually.”
She couldn’t imagine the horrors this girl had gone through. She couldn’t begin to consider what it was like to look at every strange face that passed you by, and think, is he like one of them; is he a monster, too?
“I haven’t used the music room,” Penny said.
So, she had been listening to Roz. That made her wonder, what else did the girl listen to when people thought she wasn’t paying attention?
“Why not? Their baby grand is beautiful.”
“Needs a good tuning,” Penny replied dryly.
Roz laughed. “I am sure Kyle could come in and—”
“He’s not like them, but he’s the same as them in that he wants something from me. It might not be the same thing—he’s not like that,” Penny said, looking back at Roz with her wide, blue eyes that just always seemed so fucking haunted. “He’s not like that, but he wants something from me, he’s only interested in what he can get from me.”
She blinked.
“And what is that?”
“For me to play,” Penny said simply. “The piano, I mean. That’s all he’s focused on. It isn’t the same thing as the rest of them, but it’s still something.”
“I promise Kyle isn’t only interested in making you play. That was a big factor that drew him to you, and he would still love to see you play at a piano, but it’s not at all the only thing he cares about, Penny.”
“Mmm.”
The noncommittal sound made Roz sigh quietly.
“But you,” Penny said, looking Roz over with a pensive stare, “I don’t know about you. I can’t figure you out. Everybody always wants something from me—they don’t care how they get it, but I can’t find what it is you want. And I don’t like that.”
“Nothing,” Roz whispered.
Penny raised a brow in silent question.
Roz shrugged. “I just want to help, Penny.”
That was the reason she was still in this fucking country. Instead of being at home, telling her parents they were going to be grandparents again, or letting Naz share the news with his parents. It was why she had allowed Naz to buy tickets that he had to cancel last minute because she couldn’t zipper up her luggage knowing this young woman was stuck in this place, hurting and broken.
“I’m angry,” Penny said.
Roz nodded. “I don’t doubt that.”
“No, you don’t get it. I’m mad, Roz. At everything—at the world. All the time, it never leaves. It’s right under my skin every waking moment of my life. I tried to cut it out, and I can’t get it to leave. I look at people like you—happy and good. There’s not things in your head that aren’t right. There aren’t people in your life who hurt you when they were supposed to love you. And I’m so fucking bitter about it. I look at you, and all I see is everything I can’t ever be. And that makes me angry. I don’t want to be angry anymore. I don’t want to be anything anymore.”