Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 97339 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97339 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Neither of us speaks, knowing the second we do, it’s all over, and the thought of having to let her go again kills me, especially now. If we just stay like this, keep pretending that everything is okay, we can make this moment last all night long.
My hand moves back and forth across Bri’s back, and when her breathing becomes heavy and slow, I realize she’s fallen asleep. Then instead of slipping away in the night, instead of doing the right thing and leaving her in peace, I wrap my arms tighter around her, pull the blanket higher over her, and spend the night holding her in my arms.
Light eventually starts to shine through the bedroom window, and with absolute regret, I slide out from under her and tuck her back into the sheets, making sure she’s warm. “I’m sorry,” I whisper into the silent room as I press a kiss to her forehead.
It’s best if I’m gone when she wakes. That way I save her from the pain of having to say goodbye again. I watch her for a short moment, not wanting to leave, but I know I must. “I love you, Bri,” I tell her unconscious mind before finally slipping out of the room.
I head downstairs in despair and grab my keys off the counter, passing Sean in the kitchen, who sits at the counter giving Georgia a bottle. He looks at me and gives me a sad smile, clearly realizing that something has happened between me and Bri after we disappeared from the party last night, and judging by the fact that I’m slipping out before the sun has finished rising, he understands that neither of us are on the same page.
I return his smile and head for the door. When I climb into my truck and look up at the house that holds my whole heart, I hesitate, hoping like fuck I’m truly doing the right thing.
I’m so fucking sorry, Bri.
And with that, I start it up and head down the tree-lined driveway, leaving her behind . . . again.
Chapter 16
BRIANNA
The mid-morning sun shines through the window and I wake feeling incredible after sleeping so perfectly for the first time in five months. But that feeling slips away the second I realize that I’ve woken up in the Waters Estate alone.
My heart shatters all over again. I don’t know what I was thinking when I slept with Carter again. I thought I was stronger. I thought I’d be able to handle it. Hell, I thought I would never fall into his arms again, but I should have known better. I allowed my alcohol-induced mind to make the decisions, and while I don’t regret it one single bit, I can’t stand the lingering pain it left on my heart.
God, I needed last night with him, needed that closeness, but all it did was bring me right back to being that broken girl he left behind five months ago.
I’m such a fucking idiot.
All I’ve done is broken my heart all over again. I thought I was finally starting to heal, but last night was just a reminder that I’m madly in love with a man who will never want the same things in life.
Last night replays like a movie in my mind, every single moment on repeat and making me miss him more. Carter touched me as though I was the most precious person in the world, but was also rough and demanding where he knew I needed it. He looked at me like I was the only woman he’d ever seen and never wanted to let go, and the way he smelled like the fondest memories of my past was the best feeling.
And then he went and pushed inside me. Fuck, he breathed life into me for the first time in five months. Every moment was filled with undiluted passion. It was nothing short of amazing. Hands down the best sex I’ve ever had.
And then it ended, and along with it came the realization that I would have to let go.
He said he hadn’t changed his mind about having a future together, but I still so desperately want it. I was honest when I said I couldn’t have a child with another man, the thought makes me sick to my stomach. But where the hell does that leave me?
I’m forever going to be the cat lady.
Tears begin to fall as I wrap myself up in the sheets. It’s like losing him all over again. I feel like I’m right back at square one.
I lay in the used bed, not wanting to leave, when I realize that this is pathetic. The man doesn’t want a future with me, yet I’ve spent the last five months pining over him. I didn’t even give moving on a good try. Instead, I picked a guy I knew I’d never have a future with.