Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 138844 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 694(@200wpm)___ 555(@250wpm)___ 463(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138844 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 694(@200wpm)___ 555(@250wpm)___ 463(@300wpm)
I chuckled thickly and scrubbed at my face again. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” He paused briefly. “So, paint the scene for me. How bad is it? Do you have a plan, or are you just standing there ironing your suits with a lost look in your eyes?”
My God, ironing my suits?
I glanced around me, wondering what he’d say if he actually saw me. Maybe he’d call 9-1-1.
I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand and gathered my thoughts. “Um.” Speaking of, my cheeks were probably a good place to start. “It’s the first time in probably six years I haven’t shaved in over twenty-four hours, so I’m moving into stubble territory.”
Greer snorted softly. “Oh, remember 2013? Our goatee phase!”
I made a face. “You could pull that off. I couldn’t.”
He chuckled. “I thought you looked fuckable.”
Damn.
My eyes stung all over again. Only a great friend could make you smile through heartbreak, and Greer Finlay was one of them. I sniffled and tried fruitlessly to compose myself, but it wasn’t easy when I knew Cam was in pain. Because of me. My chest tightened with a dull anxiousness—and fear. I was terrified I’d caused more harm than he could forgive.
The next time I wiped my tears, I used my hoodie, and that was another way to paint the scene. “I’m sitting on the floor in the kitchen. I’m wearing a hoodie and sweats, and—”
“Jesus, man. Where’s KC? That sounds like a cry for help.”
I rolled my eyes as more tears fell down, and I shook my head to myself.
I couldn’t make jokes now.
Hell, I was falling apart. I felt pathetically weak, and the pain kept increasing. The tightness spread across my chest, but it was different. It wasn’t the Help, I might be having a heart attack kind of pain. It was grief. I felt hollow and too full of emotions all at once. Zero appetite, dry mouth—and I couldn’t fucking stop crying. If I didn’t get off the phone soon, Greer would hear it too. I’d go from silent tears and weak sniffling to full-out sobbing.
I don’t deserve you, pet.
I’m so sorry for everything.
I swallowed once more. “Can I talk to him?”
I already knew the answer, but I asked anyway.
Greer sighed. “Not tonight, buddy. It’s late, and he’s been plenty upset today.”
Fuck. I nodded to myself and sniffled.
“Look,” he said, “the last thing I wanna do is keep y’all apart. I love you both, and I fully believe you’re gonna work this shit out. But it’s been a long day, yeah? You need to rest. So does Cam. I’m sure he’ll be up at dawn tomorrow to hitch a ride with me when I head off to work—”
“As long as he’s not doing it out of guilt,” I managed to say. I forced the words out, hating each one, because I wanted my boy here. Right now. “If I can’t talk to him, please tell him that, at least. He has no reason to feel bad, and if he needs a break to regroup—so be it.”
Kill me.
“Actually—uh,” he chuckled. “That’s where I was goin’ next, ’cause I got off track earlier when I asked if you had a plan. Because that’s what Cam needs to see, innit? He needs to see change. So, no, I don’t think it’s a good idea you talk tonight, partly because he just settled down to watch a movie with Archie, but if you have a stellar message for me to leave him, I’ll do that. In other words, make it good.”
I sniffled for the umpteenth time and took a deep breath. What he said made sense, regardless of how much it bothered me to have another Dom tell me what was okay and not. He was being a friend—and he was protective of Cam. Those were the friends I needed and wanted in my life.
What to pass on, though?
Christ.
I could give him a spiel about how much I missed my boy, how much I loved him, how sorry I was, and…best-case scenario—actually, there was no best-case scenario. Because one way or another, I’d upset him again. No, this had to be about the change. There was only one thing to tell him.
“Tell him I quit my job today,” I said. “For the right reasons—it’s important you add the last part. I don’t want him to think I felt pressured or I did it out of desperation.”
Greer was quiet for a few seconds before he responded. “Did you really?”
I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. “Yes. Burned all my bridges too—I’m not going back for my last two weeks. I’m done.”
“Well, fuck. You shoulda led with that. This is the change he’ll need to see. That’s…that’s fantastic, Lucian.”
I only hoped it wasn’t too little, too late.
“It feels strange. I have no idea what I’m going to do besides resting, but it was time.” I rubbed my eyes and took a steadying breath. “Part of me can’t believe you won’t let me talk to him, even though…you know.”