Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 100523 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 402(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100523 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 402(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
Carter: Did you just quote a children’s book to explain how you want to watch me fucking you?
Rachel: I did.
Carter: There’s only one thing on my to-do list now. And I will spend the rest of the day thinking about that.
Rachel: Giving a moose a muffin, Carter?
Carter: Yes. Exactly.
Rachel: What about you? Do you have a list?
Carter: Besides walking in on you playing with yourself? And, well, everything else?
Rachel: Yes. Be specific, Carter.
Carter: I want to undress you slowly, put you on your stomach on my bed, kiss your shoulders, your back, the dip of your ass, those ass cheeks, your thighs, and your calves. Run my mouth all over your sweet orange-blossom skin till you’re writhing, begging, and clawing at the sheets. And maybe then I’ll finally satisfy the sweet ache between your legs. So yeah. There’s that.
Carter: By the way, what else is on your to-do list today? Grocery shopping? Popping into the drugstore? Rotating your tires?
Carter: Rachel?
Carter: You still there?
Rachel: Rachel is not here right now. Rachel was spending some time with her new toy. Rushing to work is now on her to-do list.
Carter: Along with talking about herself in the third person?
Rachel: Well, yes. I had an out-of-body experience from the O I just gave myself, so yeah, third person feels apropos. I might still be floating.
Rachel: By the way, I changed my panties again. Here’s a pic of what I changed into.
Carter: Holy black-lace-I-want-to-rip-off-with-my-teeth. That’s what you have on today?
Rachel: Yes. You like?
Carter: I like it so much I’m inviting myself over after work. Say yes, Rachel.
Rachel: Yes. You’re on my to-do list tonight.
Carter: Same to you.
Rachel: And, if you give a girl a sex list, you just might get a couple orgasms.
27
THE LIFE DOCTOR
Rachel
That woman I just walked past on the street, the one chatting on her phone about her yoga class?
Does she know I’m having the time of my life?
What about that mom with the stroller I’m cruising by on Fillmore?
Can she sense that the woman strolling past her—me—is fueled by sunshine, the best dates ever, and oh, a bunch of mind-blowing orgasms?
I want to spread my arms and twirl in a field of flowers as I belt out a tune.
Climb every big dick, chase every O…
It’ll be a chart-topper, I’m sure. Everyone should have a date at the farmers’ market, a night of toe-curling sex, and a morning where you can just be yourself with another person. In fact, that gives me an idea.
As I walk, I tap out another text.
Rachel: Hey! We could add Life Doctor to our doctor resumes. The Life Doctors prescribe…a date with your best friend and red-hot sex too.
Carter: I’ll take that medicine. Oh, wait—I am.
I’ll take another several doses of it. Who knew girlfriend lessons would be like this? I’d thought I’d go to dating school and do some research on a distant, faraway romantic future for when I’m ready to dip my toes into the shark-infested dating waters. Instead, the professor is giving me special attention, and I like the extra credit very much.
So much that it’s changing me. It’s making me see myself in new ways. I see others through a new lens too.
Like…now.
I turn on the corner of Fillmore Street, onto the block of Haven Spa. I’m a little nervous heading into enemy territory, but I’ve got to do this. I have to take this important step. I’m clutching a gift, completely unsure of how it’ll be received.
Taking a fueling breath, I march up the block, open the door to Haven Spa, and hope for the best. The thing about gifts is you don’t know if they’ll be wanted. But sometimes, you need to give them anyway, even if they might backfire.
I really hope this doesn’t backfire.
At the front desk, a pair of placid-looking women in matching lavender balloon pants look up in sync. A small fountain set on a stone table gurgles. A Zen garden sits next to it. Birds chirp overhead, but not actual birds. A soundtrack. But I wouldn’t be surprised if Ava sailed out here with hummingbirds perched on her shoulders.
“Good morning. May I help you?” one of the lavender twins asks.
I kick my nerves to the curb, then I stride right up to the counter. “Good morning. You look lovely today. Is Ava here?”
“I am.”
The serene voice of the wife of the man who thinks I’m a bitch greets me. I swivel around and there she is, floating from, I don’t know, a session in the hydro pool where she probably glided in on a giant conch.
Chin up. Say it like you mean it. “I just wanted to say thank you, Ava,” I begin, holding tight the gift I brought for her—brownies with peanut butter swirl. I baked them last night, before I saw Carter. I was going to bring all these to Fable as a thanks for being, well, for being Fable. But I squirreled some away in a Tupperware dish this morning for this purpose. “And to let you know I am feeling all the good vibes now. So here’s a gift.”