Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 75916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
“I’m sorry.” I entwined our fingers. Damn, he’d had a lot of losses.
“Bree adores you, and I think my mom would’ve too.” He looked off toward the water as I squeezed his hand and held my breath, because that was the sweetest thing but I suspected he had more to say.
“I never knew my dad, and Bree’s father skipped out on my mom after she was born.” He grimaced. “So I guess my mom had some train-wreck relationships too.”
“Hey. That’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself because Steve was an asshole. You loved him, and he betrayed that.” I pulled my feet from his lap, scooted over, and cuddled against his side. Dane wrapped an arm around me and kissed the top of my head.
“Yeah, I know. Logically, I do, but it’s hard to remember sometimes. And I told myself I was never going to trust anyone again. I sure as hell didn’t expect to fall for someone again. You have some kind of magic, Jesse.”
I gasped and looked up at him. I liked that, thinking I had some magic spell over him. “You do too.”
“I really like you,” he said. “That scares me, and I’ve tried to deny it, but tonight… Christ, tonight I felt like you were singing to me.”
“I was, and I’m no less scared than you are. I don’t have a bad ex or anything, but I didn’t see this coming. I never planned to have it, and I’m scared of fucking it up, but I… Well, I maybe more than like you. I realized it at my parents’. I might have freaked out a bit.”
“Well, I’m still freaking out,” he replied, and we both laughed.
When we sobered, I said, “I won’t hurt you, Dane.”
“I know, but part of me…part of me is still scared of that, and the other wonders if I’ll somehow hurt you? If there’s something wrong with me? I know I’m not always the easiest person to get along with.”
“What, and you drive people to gamble and treat others badly? No, Dane. You’re…sweet. And funny when you want to be, and you have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known. Don’t let him win by thinking those things. I mean, you have to be pretty awesome if I maybe more than like you.”
That earned me a second laugh and a second kiss on the head and his arm to tighten around me.
“Okay.”
“Just okay?”
“Since I maybe more than like you too, I should probably trust what’s happening between us…and I do.”
We were quiet for a while after that, just watched the fog on the water. When I trembled, Dane said, “Come on, let’s get you warm.” He put my shoes back on me, and we walked to the car. When we got there, he stopped and looked at me a second, then cupped my cheek. “You were really beautiful tonight. Did I tell you that?”
I smiled. It was big and cheesy. I could tell and I didn’t care. “No, but you can tell me anytime you want.”
“You were really beautiful tonight,” he said again, and yeah, he had me. I was so totally in love with Dane.
36
Dane
“I’ll be going home again—for Christmas.” Jesse raised the sheet over his bare chest.
It was the middle of the afternoon, we were lying in my bed, and I had just cleaned us up after mind-melting sex. My brain was still a bit fuzzy, so I hummed in response. I also didn’t want to think about him leaving again, which was ridiculous, but it filled me with a melancholy I couldn’t readily explain. Guess I just liked having him around.
Bree, Hailey, and Mark had gone off to the mall to see Santa, and I was glad Mark was home for a longer stretch this time so they could do holiday things as a family. I admit, it made me long for something of my own. Except Jesse and I were only in the beginning stages. If we lasted, we could certainly start making memories of our own.
“Is it terrible that I don’t want to go?” he asked, staring at the ceiling.
I reached out and twined our fingers. “Maybe this time will finally feel different.”
He angled his head toward me. “You mean even after I tell them I have a boyfriend?”
I froze, imagining not only how brave he would have to be to confess that, but also the possible fallout. “Hey, you don’t have to tell them anything. Not if you’re not ready yet. Besides—”
“This thing between us is new and might go down in flames?” he quipped.
“That’s not what I was trying to say.” I cocked an eyebrow. “Unless you’re tired of me already?”
I couldn’t help holding my breath, awaiting his response. Fact was, I was afraid he’d wake up one day and decide dating me was not at all what he’d envisioned for himself. Jesse was vibrant and full of life and probably more suited for someone else. But like I promised, I needed to keep trusting in this thing happening between us.