Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 112917 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112917 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Zane met my eyes. “Do you think I need to be wrapped in bubble wrap, Bear? Is that what I have a personal security person for?”
I clenched my jaw to keep from snapping at him. Yes, yes you need to be wrapped in bubble wrap. Because you’re a precious fucking treasure. I’d do anything to keep you safe.
“No. I believe you could handle just about anything, Z,” I said hesitantly. “But I don’t want you to have to.” I clenched my jaw again. “I wasn’t acting as your personal security officer when I made the decision to hide those emails from you,” I admitted.
His eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t understand.”
“I was acting as the man who…” I swallowed as I stood toe-deep at the edge of a cliff. “Who wanted to protect you.”
Zane’s lips opened. I expected him to be angry, to tell me I wasn’t making any sense, but instead, he surprised me with a soft smile.
“Why do you want to protect me, Bear?”
I looked everywhere but at him. The words were a bell that couldn’t be un-rung. They would change things forever, for better or worse.
His smaller hand snuck out of the covers and slid into mine. “Why?” he repeated in a softer voice. “Is it not just because it’s your job?”
I glared at him. “Protecting you isn’t my job, Z. It’s my fucking honor.”
“Mm. Why is that?”
“You’re impossible.”
He opened the duvet and crawled over to straddle my lap, sliding his arms around my neck. His callused fingers stroked my neck, and he nuzzled my cheek with his nose before whispering the words into my skin. “Say the words, Bear. Please.”
In the end, it wasn’t a matter of making myself tell him but of allowing myself to stop holding back. Once I did, the words tumbled over themselves in their eagerness to be free. “I’m so in love with you I can’t breathe. If something happens to you, my life will simply… stop. I can’t… I can’t let anything happen to you, Z. You’re…”
His lips were wide with a smile, and his eyes were wet. “I’m your honey.”
I rolled my eyes and kissed him, cupping the back of his head with both hands to keep him there. After drinking my fill, I pulled back just enough to agree. “You’re my honey. And you’re officially not allowed to listen to any more bear fact podcasts.”
“I love you, too,” he said, still grinning wide. “That’s why I didn’t play your song today.”
I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight. “Make that make sense.”
“It’s too revealing. You would have known how I felt if I sang it. I didn’t want to come offstage to find I’d scared you away.”
That wasn’t completely accurate. We hadn’t been in a great place before the show, and I wondered now if I’d left him feeling unsure.
“Will you sing it for me now?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No. There are other things I’d rather do right now, but I’ll sing it in Berlin. And you’ll know it’s about you.”
I kissed him again, murmuring my apologies into his skin as I pushed him back on the bed and proceeded to take him apart, inch by inch.
TWENTY-THREE
ZANE
The world’s not always kind to a bear, and they’re often at risk, whether from shrinking forests or curious intruders. Bears need safe spaces—sanctuaries where they can eat, play, rest, and get a break from constantly being on guard. After all, even a powerful creature like a bear deserves a place where he can be his true self.
—Bear Facts for Insomniacs, Episode 94
For the next two days, I carried around my newly confessed love like a locket nestled close to my heart. I knew it was there, Bear knew it was there, and that was all that mattered.
When I took the stage in Berlin, I felt like I was carrying a superpower. Not only was I getting ready to debut a brand-new song with Jude Marian on the world’s stage, but I was also going to debut my secret song about Bear.
The show opened with a popular singing duo—and real-life couple—called Aria & Velvet. The women were like a mix of Lana Del Rey and Stevie Nicks and had the crowd on their feet immediately. After they left, a solo artist named Kradle came out with a punchy two-song set featuring energetic choreography.
“You ready, kid?” Jude teased as we stood in the wings, listening to Kradle thanking the audience.
Jude Marian was the very definition of aging gracefully. He was a beautiful man, even in his fifties, and the silver threads in his brown hair only seemed to emphasize his good looks.
I still couldn’t believe this was my life, that I was getting ready to take the stage with a music legend, an artist I’d idolized growing up. “Is this real?” I asked. “Because I’ve been trying to act cool since we got here, but I’m not feeling very cool on the inside.”