Total pages in book: 176
Estimated words: 164533 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 823(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 548(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164533 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 823(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 548(@300wpm)
When I’d first arrived in Ireland, I hadn’t thought I’d want to have sex again for a long time, if ever. But being around Rhys was reawakening that part of me, and he couldn’t know grateful I was.
“Thank you for the kiss,” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tight. “You have no idea what it meant to me.”
That kiss was another small victory. Another inch of freedom from Jesse’s hold over my mental state. I kissed someone else, and though he hadn’t wanted to take things any further, it still felt glorious.
Rhys stroked his hand down my back, and tingling pleasure followed in its wake. His touch was like magic, never failing to bring bliss. His arms came around my waist, and he held me to him, both of us sinking into the embrace before he drew back a little to study me.
“What did it mean to you?” he asked with interest.
“Autonomy,” I answered without hesitating. “Making choices for myself.”
Rhys nodded, his expression intense and thoughtful, also a little bit proud. I felt like maybe he understood.
“Do you feel up to getting back out there?”
“I think so, yes,” I replied with resolve. We couldn’t stay in the office all night no matter how much I might like to. Then I remembered Aidan had witnessed my meltdown, and self-consciousness settled in. Rhys seemed to read my thoughts because his expression softened.
“Aidan won’t say anything. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Okay,” I breathed with relief as I stood, and Rhys held out his arm to me. I slid mine through, and we made our way back out to the restaurant. It wasn’t as bustling as earlier, with lots of people having finished their meals and left. We hadn’t yet made it back to the table when I spotted a familiar brunette standing by the bar with two other women.
Oh crap, was that Stephanie?
I immediately dropped Rhys’ arm like I’d been caught doing something illegal and quickened my step. He appeared confused about why I’d so swiftly left his side, but then he saw his ex, and his eyes narrowed as he frowned in her direction. He certainly didn’t look happy about her appearance. I pressed my lips together, shooting him an apologetic look as I left. I just didn’t need Stephanie seeing us arm in arm, standing close like we’d been having a hot and heavy make out session out back.
Rhys was a single guy. Technically, there was nothing wrong with me kissing him, but it still didn’t sit right. His broken engagement was far too recent.
I wondered what Stephanie was doing at the restaurant. Then again, she and Rhys probably shared similar social circles, so she might’ve known Aidan.
“Hey,” Nuala said quietly when I sat down next to her. “Where were you?”
Glancing around, I made sure no one else was listening when I replied, “I, um, had a bit of a shaky moment there, but I’m okay now. Just needed a break.”
Nuala nodded, knowing immediately what I meant by a “shaky moment.” I’d told her about my panic attacks and how social gatherings were nerve-wracking for me. It wasn’t merely that I’d become a shut in during the final three years with Jesse, allowing my depression and anxiety to get so bad I’d stepped away from my job and life, barely leaving the apartment. It was also because of how he’d treated me when we had gone out together, always managing to belittle me in front of other people or destroy whatever crumbs of confidence I’d cobbled together.
“Stephanie is here,” I said to Nuala, flicking my eyes across the restaurant to where she stood by the bar. Rhys had stopped to talk to her, and heat flared across my chest. Was I jealous? Even though they were over, he wasn’t the sort of man to simply ignore her if they bumped into one another. Rhys was too decent for that. Although there was something in the set of his shoulders that made me suspect he wasn’t pleased she’d turned up. Hadn’t he said he spoke to her the other week, setting her straight that they wouldn’t be getting back together?
Perhaps, despite the talk, she wasn’t prepared to give up on him yet.
Memories from a few minutes ago filled my mind, how consumed I’d been by his kiss, his mouth on my neck, hands on my body. How I hadn’t given a single thought to Stephanie when I’d asked him to kiss me. Was that bad? I felt weirdly guilty.
“I think I’m going to head back,” I said to Nuala. “Can you let everyone know? I’m feeling kind of done with this night.”
“Sure,” she said, reaching out to squeeze my hand. “Would you like me to come with you? Martin and I can—”
“No, you should stay. I’m in one of those moods where I’d prefer to be alone anyway.”