Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 76319 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76319 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
“I brought a second one,” Blaine says, producing another flask.
I give him a genuine smile, grateful for his thoughtfulness. I’m safe with the man, and I hide that disappointment with another tilt of the flask to my lips.
That’s when I see him. Dark eyes lock on me as I drink, and I know he’s the cause of the way I felt earlier. Danger seeps off of him, becoming a tangible thing between us despite him being across the room.
He doesn’t even attempt to fit in with the smiling and laughing kids around him. His dark presence makes everyone close to him seem like toddlers. His lips form a flat line as I drain the second flask, his eyes on my skin burning more than the whiskey in my throat.
I break eye contact with him long enough to hand Blaine back the empty flask. Disappointment flashes in his eyes when he shakes it.
“Sorry.” The apology falls from my lips naturally, a trained response to the discontent in his eyes.
“I’ll go get a refill,” he says.
Relief washes over me as he walks away. The guy is a good friend for the most part, but there are times he’s more than a little smothering. I don’t know why he nominated himself as my protector. On one hand, he tries to act like the older brother I never wanted, but then in the next breath, he hints at wanting to be more. I know it’s messed up that I haven’t told him I don’t want either from him. It makes me a user, an ungrateful asshole honestly, but I don’t want him gone either. The attention he gives gets on my nerves, but it also feeds that narcissistic part of me that craves his undivided attention. The problem with Blaine is that he’s too nice. He’s everything I could never want in a man. I realize how messed up it is, how the things I crave would probably make any sane person call the people in white coats to drag me away for evaluation. I’m well aware that the things I read about are fiction. That wanting a man who’s willing to hurt me is as crazy as the plotlines in the books I devour.
My eyes scan the room, an ache I can’t explain tugging down the corners of my mouth when I can’t find the man I saw just moments ago.
Warmth spreads through me as I continue to dance, my eyes constantly searching the room. Either he’s watching from the shadows or my mind is playing tricks on me because I can feel his attention on my skin. It’s an electric current tugging at every hair and making them stand on end. I close my eyes, swimming in the idea of him dragging me into the darkness, of him refusing to stop even when I beg him to.
“This is the last one.”
My jaw aches with the pressure from clenching it as I open my eyes to find Blaine once again standing in front of me.
“Thanks,” I tell him, taking the refilled flask and walking toward the far wall.
I’m covered in sweat, the cool winter air outside no competition for the swarm of warm bodies in the house.
Landon and Rick join us, both looking like they’re ready to make their excuses and bolt.
“This is different from what I remember,” Rick says, his eyes scanning the crowd.
“Yeah,” Landon says.
“It’s fun, right?” Blaine says, reaching for the flask as I raise it to my lips again. I hate the judgment in his eyes.
Landon tilts his head, his lips a flat line.
“Maybe we’re just that old married couple who would rather be in bed,” Rick says, his eyes shrinking as he smiles.
Landon licks his lips in a way that tells me he’d rather be alone with his husband, but sleep is the farthest thing from his mind.
I look past all of them, yearning to feel the same energy I felt earlier.
“Do you know him?” Landon asks. “He’s been circling and watching you all night.”
I dart my eyes faster, still not finding the mystery man.
“Nine o’clock,” he says when I come up empty. “That’s three. Your nine.”
I look in the opposite direction, that very same giddiness wrapped in mystery I felt earlier hitting me when I lock eyes with him.
There’s no way the man is a college student, and it’s not even the full beard and experience in his dark eyes. He carries himself like a man. There’s a danger rolling off him that interests me.
“Yeah,” Rick says, looking over his shoulder before looking back at me. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
I lick at my suddenly dry lips.
“Alani?” Blaine says, a hurt in his voice that’s misplaced.
I know a conversation with my friend is coming, and the disappointing part is that we’ve had the conversation several times before. Tonight it will fall on deaf ears once again. I seriously need to tell him I’m not interested in him that way when I haven’t been drinking, but sober me is too scared of losing his friendship despite drunk me wanting to shove him away. It’s selfish and makes me a total asshole, but we don’t always get to pick the roles forced upon us.