Total pages in book: 29
Estimated words: 26362 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 132(@200wpm)___ 105(@250wpm)___ 88(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 26362 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 132(@200wpm)___ 105(@250wpm)___ 88(@300wpm)
I took to reading anything I could get my hands on to help me wade through the muck and mire of the money grubbers who all came calling with their hands out. Thing is, I mostly read the stuff one of my great grandfathers had left behind. It worked then I don’t see why it can’t work now. Far as I know nobody changed them laws in over two hundred years.
Well after the oil made us rich as Croesus, daddy up and died from his swollen ball predicament leaving me a very rich but lonely man. That’s where the fiancée came in.
Now most folks thought I was simple minded on account of I never had more than my home schooling and stayed mostly to myself not really having any friends or anyone to talk to.
So some shyster with a little less money than me but what he considered better pedigree decided he could keep his family coffers full by marrying off his daughter to the redneck simpleton. People ought not to judge a book by its cover.
I hadn’t been in love with the trollop, not that she wasn’t pretty enough, she was. But I’d gone along with it even though I knew what the man was up to.
I figured it was about time at twenty-six to settle down and have me a kid or two to help run the place anyway. She was pretty enough to look at so it wouldn’t be a chore to bed her, and I’d have me a body to share the nights with at least.
But I don’t cotton to being betrayed. It’s one thing that she was after my money, but to bring her lover in my home, the home that has been in my family for generations, was a slight I cannot and will not forgive.
After I’d shot her and the adulterer and fed them to my hogs, I’d gone off and bought all the surrounding land because I was plum tired of people. I was mad as spit to tell the truth and anyone who’d come nosing around my place back then wouldn’t have made it off.
So to keep the peace and leave the population alive a little longer than they deserved, I’d bought out everyone around. I tore down homes, buildings and whatever else was in my way, until there was nothing left but the old log cabin that had been sitting on the land for well nigh two hundred years. My home.
The gal that was supposed to be my wife hadn’t been too pleased with the living arrangements but she’d convinced herself that she could talk me into building her the biggest mansion in the state on account of she was so pretty and all.
There was never any chance in hell of that happening. I was born and raised in that cabin and I aim to die the same. I see now that she never would’ve fit in around here and truth is I don’t think anyone would.
Now I have four hundred thousand acres of wide-open space all to myself. I wasn’t lonely so much as I was tired of my own damn company. All that was left for me to do of an evening after the work was done was to walk or ride that land.
Then one day, I was off walking by my lonesome and I got a feeling. I went to digging on account of that feeling and wouldn’t you know it, there was oil right there where the Piggly Wiggly once stood.
The money kept rolling in but I was starting to get lonesome. I’d hired some hotshot to come out and teach me how to use the computer so I could do my business more efficiently and now it took me less than an hour in the mornings to look over everything.
Now that was a story in itself. That feller was just like everybody else. He took one look at me and saw a redneck with nary a lick a sense and figured he could take advantage. I played along like I was empty between the ears, all the while learning all I needed, or all he knew anyways.
Then one day, I caught him trying to get into my personal files and the night before I’d found the doohickey he’d put on my computer so he could track everything I did and I got to shooting again. Yes sir, I hauled off and shot him in the ass.
After he had ran screaming to his car and hightailed it outta here, I took myself down to the bookstore and bought out every book they had on the subject of computers and taught myself what I needed to know. Now I can take one of them fool things apart and put it back together.
But now I’m bored and riding my ATV over the land hell bent for leather was no longer enough. At night, I’d lay in that big old four-poster bed that one of my great grandma’s had bought and wish for somebody to talk to. It reminded me of the one I’d seen once in one of daddy’s old funny books. The ones with all the naked women in them.