Total pages in book: 166
Estimated words: 161257 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 806(@200wpm)___ 645(@250wpm)___ 538(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 161257 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 806(@200wpm)___ 645(@250wpm)___ 538(@300wpm)
Max eased back and stared at him, not caring that his eyes were soaked. “Kinda? How the fuck else could that have been interpreted?”
Sean frowned, his own lashes looking suspiciously wet, and gently thumbed the tears from Max’s cheeks. “I packed a rucksack. I needed to leave fast. Wrote the bare essentials on a note, and was gonna call Jonah later. Explain once I knew all the details.”
He packed a rucksack? Goddamn. Heart still hammering, Max searched Sean’s face. “Details… about what?”
Sean sighed and glanced around, then took Max’s wrist. “Let’s sit down.”
THIRTY-NINE
Sean felt like he was dreaming. This was all just too surreal.
Probably, in part, because his beer buzz was rocking, but also because it felt like he was in a movie. The kind where two love interests just can’t get it right, and one ends up leaving town brokenhearted. Brokenhearted and destitute, just needing to get away, only to be stopped by the one who wrecked them before they could leave. Although, in those kind of movies, declarations of love follow suit. In Sean’s current situation, though…
He watched Max warily as they came to a spot to sit, wondering why exactly he was there. Just to stop Sean because he thought he was planning to off himself? Saying and doing things that under normal circumstances he never would? Anything just to stop Sean, repercussions be damned? They’d deal with the aftermath later? Because if that was the case, then Sean wished Max never fucking came. Not that he didn’t appreciate the thought. After all, in an upside-down, backward, inside-out kind of way, Max had just, well, sort of saved his life.
But if this was truly nothing more than a rescue attempt and reconciliation wasn’t part of the agenda, then all this encounter represented to Sean was just another dump of salt in his wounds. Another knife in the chest when he was already down. When he’d already surrendered and waved his fucking flag.
Max sat on the ground and leaned his back against a boulder. Sean moved to have a seat right beside him.
“No,” Max rasped, shaking his head. “Need you here. Need you closer.” He pulled Sean atop his lap, as if wanting to be able to hold him at will. Which meant Sean needed to straddle him, something he’d typically be cool with. Now, though, with his heart still so fucking raw, this face-to-face, up-close-and-personal stuff made him ache.
Max looked into his eyes, his lashes spiky and wet, then drew up his knees to ease Sean closer. Sean smiled a little, unable to help it. Anytime Max wanted him near it felt good. Max didn’t return the gesture, just rested his hands on Sean’s hips and stared. God, he looked exhausted. And frazzled. But also relieved.
“Okay,” he finally murmured. “Let’s hear those details. I nearly barfed all over Great Falls two fucking seconds ago.”
Sean’s lips curved higher, but just for a second. Max had cracked a kind of joke, was trying to make light, but clearly was still trying to calm down. Sean nodded soberly. “Right. The details…” He paused and glanced down. Even just talking about it was going to hurt. “Two weekends ago, when I was working and thought I saw you, I honestly believed I was starting to fucking lose it. Like I was going crazy or something. Seeing stuff that wasn’t there. And it made me realize that you’re everywhere to me. Even if you’re not even present. I see something and it reminds me of you. A place. A color. A song. A shirt.”
“A shirt?” Max’s eyes hooded. He tilted his head.
“Yeah.” Sean tamped down another small smile. “Any clothes I’ve worn while we were together. They remind me of you now. Go figure.”
Max made a soft sound and nodded a little.
“Anyway,” Sean murmured. “You were everywhere I looked. In every fucking thought in my head.” He frowned and gave a shrug. “Which included my trip to Australia. For as many times as I’ve daydreamed about you being there with me, I knew there was no way I’d be able to enjoy it. I’d be thinking about you with every excursion I took, because I’d already envisioned you taking it with me countless times.” He sighed. “And I didn’t want that. It’d defeat the whole purpose. It wouldn’t be an adventure of a lifetime anymore. It’d be a journey meant for two that I walked alone.”
Max’s face fell. “Fuck, Sean… I ruined your trip.”
Sean shrugged again. “My over-active brain played a big part, too.”
Max exhaled and looked away, then looked back at Sean and frowned. “So… If you weren’t trying to take a dive just now… then where were you gonna go with just a rucksack of clothes?”
“Europe.”
“Europe?” Max eyed him. “That’s kind of vague.”
Sean fought a small laugh. “I’ll be backpacking. Fourteen countries and thirty cities. “Europe” was the shorter list.”