Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 80821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Archer is inside waiting for me, and we order our drinks, then find a table toward the back. As soon as my ass is in the chair, I say, “I like Rhett.”
“Like him, like him?” Archer raises a brow. “Christ, we sound like we’re twelve.”
“Yes, that kind of like, and yes, we do. I blame myself.”
He snickers before getting serious. “Okay, so you want to hook up with Rhett? Want to date him? What are we talking about here?”
“Hell, man. I don’t know.” I rest my elbows on the table, then bury my head in my hands. “I haven’t dated anyone seriously since April. I don’t…fuck, I’m not sure I even know how to do that anymore. Or if I have it in me. It about killed me and Meadow when she left. I don’t ever want to put her through something like that again. You know how she is. The girl is all heart. If I date someone, she’ll get attached, especially if it’s Rhett. Then what happens if we break up?”
“Then she’ll be sad. That’s a part of life, Cass. You can’t protect her from everything. Does that mean you’re going to stay alone forever so you don’t risk her getting hurt?”
“I was thinking about it, yes,” I deadpan.
He shakes his head. “That’s not fair to you. You’ve always been the type to want to be with someone. You don’t want to be alone.”
We’re quiet as the barista brings over our drinks. When she leaves, I say, “I’m not alone. I have my family, friends, and my daughter.”
“You know what I mean.”
I sigh. He’s right. I do. “It’s not only because of Meadow, though she’s the biggest part of it. I just don’t know if I can go through that again, Arch. I’m not sure if I can ever give myself to someone that way again.”
“Nah, that doesn’t sound like you. I know you better than anyone. You’re not the type to run away or give up. Maybe it just takes the right person to make you see that. Maybe it’s Rhett, maybe it’s not, but you’re the strongest, most levelheaded person I know, and that big heart your daughter has? She gets it from you. You can’t stop it from feeling what it does.”
I…have no idea what to say to that, so I settle on, “You’re no help at all,” making Archer laugh. “Seriously, though, this is a bit of a mess. My issues and fears for Meadow aside, is wanting him smart? I’m fairly certain he’s straight, and he’s…he’s so sad, Archer. More than anything else, I feel like Rhett needs a friend, and my complicated…emotional attachment—I don’t even know what to call it. I’m not in love with the guy, but I’m definitely interested—I don’t want that to mess up our friendship. I don’t want to risk losing that. And I don’t ever want to hurt Rhett.”
“You don’t think I had those very same concerns when I started to fall for East? I was scared to death I’d do the wrong thing, scared of fucking things up and being another heartbreak East had to endure. But we can’t control how we feel, and we can’t live our lives missing out because we’re afraid. All you can do is take into consideration Rhett’s feelings and struggles in the decisions you make. His feelings, but yours and Meadow’s too. I know it’s a lot, but if anyone can navigate it, it’s you.”
I ponder that as I take a drink of my coffee. “Why do you have to go and have so much faith in me?”
“You did the same with me.”
“Best friends are the worst,” I tease, the two of us sharing a laugh.
“I think you’re good for Rhett, and he’s good for you. Maybe it’ll become something, maybe it won’t, but don’t count yourself out before you even know if there’s a chance. That’s not fair to you or Rhett. Do you know how big of a deal it is that he’s working with you? He also made barstools for Morgan and never told him whom they were from, but he let Dusty tell him. You should have heard how excited East was when he found out that Morgan and Rhett talked. The birthday party and all those things, I’m not saying they happened because of you, but I bet something about you has smoothed the way. Sometimes all a person needs is someone to be there for them, and when they are, it helps them see who they are, to appreciate they’re worth it and to fight for themselves. Maybe you’re that person for Rhett.”
My thoughts are echoey hearing what Archer is saying. I don’t figure I’m that for Rhett, but I want to be something for him—friend, lover, both? All I know is I’ve enjoyed these past few weeks with him. They’ve made me understand how alone I felt before. Sometimes we can get so distracted by life that we don’t realize something is missing until a space is filled, and then it’s like…oh, there you are. How did I not realize I need this?